I don't think your post is off topic at all. Having our relationships destroyed is one of the biggest problems in coping with chronic illness.

I'm like a lot of chronically ill people...I live entirely alone with no friends except for my DS friends. It makes me depressed and angry, and at times I have an overwhelming feeling of having been betrayed.

But sometimes I feel that if everyone abandoned me just because I'm sick, what does that say about them?? Maybe I'm better off without them.

You're right though, we humans are not supposed to live our lives alone. It hurts.

Hello Luna, Thanks for your post. I can totally understand what
you're saying. I"m not in your same situation since I'm a
senior now and have done many of the things which you talk about.
Yet, I have this illness too. I don't think it's unusual to ask,
why me? Or to look around and see what everyone else is
doing and wonder why I can't do the same. Have a healthy loving
relationship for one. All of those things. So. I don't have the
answers. I do know that I have gotten better over the past 6 years.
I am able to go out, to make friends and do many things.
I would not give up hope is what I'm saying. I have also gone
to therapy. Maybe that would be available to you. It's
a safe place to look at what you're experiencing.
It's not always easy to come to terms with what
we're experiencing especially since so many in the
'regular world' are wrapped up in their own lives. That's
just a suggestion. Posting on DS is a good place. There
is alot of support here. I guess I would add,
feel your feelings, but don't
let them get the best of you. Sending you well wishes
and a hug, Rosa

Hello - sending hugs from Northern New England and wanted to say that I understand. I had a great job and now I'm stuck at home, going out only once a week to the grocery store. During the times I have a bit more energy I drag myself to the therapy pool at YMCA, or at the physical therapy building. Even if I don't really know anyone there, the water is soothing and there are people around. Sometimes just being around people even without interacting, helps. If you can make it to the mall or a local park to just sit and people watch, you may at least feel a part of things. Many of us are such sensitive souls that even just being around others is enough to help us feel better. And then there is the chance at least you can make a friend, if you aren't as shy as I am...sigh.... hoping you find a way to reach out for a little slice of life. Blessings!

Im sorry to hear that you are going through this and feeling so alone. Your topic is very in line with all of this that we are suffering. I too had a partner walk away and it was hard especially as I had no idea what was wrong then. He always got angry that I slept alot and was tired.
When I think about having a baby my first thought is "how am I gonna cope with the added tiredness" and then I think I just cant do it. That makes me feel like my decision to have a baby is taken from me :(

Big big hugs to you hun xx

I realized recently that I am probably going to spend the rest of my life alone. As you said..even if the right persons came along now, I just don't have the energy.

I guess this journey forces us to turn inwards, discover our own inner stength and find new ways to enjoy life.

I don't have the answers ..but I continue to have hope..passing it on with a big HUG.

PS : I remember when my first love moved on .. maybe five years after we had broken up I think that hurt more than the actual breakup. Your reaction is normal ..feel the pain and then move past it.

It does get better over time.

Hello Luna...(love the name, I am a zodiac sign/moon child.) :)
anyways, you are so not alone..lost my longggg time partner a few years ago due to this illness and other medical issues I have. I thought I was going to die of a constant panic attack...but I didnt. I ended up meeting someone extreemly special, and the funny thing is...they have medical issues too!! We complain alot to each other..lol, and sometimes I wonder wth?? How can I be with someone who has issues like me? were like two banged up people walking side by side down a sometimes lonely road..and I say lonely because we all have needs, wants, desires, and when your with someone who also needs the same, with this particular illness, it is hard to give! At least for me it is. I believe that is why my 1st partner left. We have two kids together, and to the kids, I gave and still give, then I am completely worn out. Bed ridden. So hunni, what I guess I am trying to say is, no matter if your alone or with someone, there will always be times we will feel alone, I think...I do anyways, but yet I dont. You will meet someone, so do not loose hope. And the relationship will be up and down, especially with this illness. Some people can cope with a partner with it, (like mine cause of their issues) and some cant. Do not dispare, if you find you 'click' with anyone here..start up a friendship. I have lost friends over this illness too!! Guess they werent really my friends. What ever you do, how ever you think...don;t loose hope. Your time to have someone who understands is near

Depending on what you can tolerate, there are ways of meeting people. I have some examples of this.

A friend of mine is so overweight she can't go to old movie theaters because the seats aren't big enough. For many this would be enough to stop trying to date. Not my friend. She would go online and date one guy after another. For safety she always insists on a picture. She also meets in a public place and brings her cell phone. She has a rule that on the second date she doesn't shower, wears clothes that don't look good on her, and no make up. If he doesn't want to see her after that he wasn't worth it. If he tries to keep her from what she wants to do, she dumps him. In fact, she'll dump a guy for many things. She went through a lot of guys. She is now happily engaged. I told her this isn't just luck in her case. That was hard work.

I joined a board game group. Unless you hate board games or can't sit through them, I highly recomend them. Most of these groups are drop in as you please and take off when you like. I go to one in a person's home. Many game shop host these for free. The beauty of it is you don't have to go everytime and you can leave if you wear out. I have made so many friends this way. I didn't go for a few years due to cfs. I started going back and have been told many times how glad people are that I came back. There is usually a lot of laughter which helps. Also if you don't know anyone, games are a good bridge. I'm shy too.

And a little hint for women...most of the people who show up to game nights are guys. If you love to play board games and you are a woman, chances are good some guy will want to date you just for that.

I have another friend going through a divorce. She takes an art class. She found it to be very theraputic.

I guess I'm saying that whatever you like to do, try to find a group that also likes to do it. Whatever you are up to.

And then there is the other side of it. Some movie I watched there was a woman who broke up with a guy. She started doing all kinds of stuff she loved that she hadn't been doing in her relationship. The things she loves to do alone. From staying in her pjs all day, to ordering the takeout she loves and he hates. Oh yes, and all the movies she likes and he doesn't. She was enjoying her freedom.

I believe I responded to your post on another support group but I just wanted to add a thought after reading here. Have you ever been in a room full of people and still felt alone? I believe that no matter what, our illnesses will make us alone at different times. Even if you have someone or are married, we still are going to be alone at times. I think we just need to find a "healthy" way to deal with our times of being alone. I think that is a wonderful idea that the person going thru a divorce is taking an art class. Think of this as a time to perhaps find new things to bring you peace, happiness and fullfillment. I have discovered some new hobbies that is giving me a sense of fullfillment. Life goes on, and we have to find our path.

Nah, I want what I can no loner have. I want to go back to being 28 years old and still a virgin. I want that cute Christian Texas girl 20-something that is about 5'2" tall and weights 110 lbs. I just want to hold her and tell her how beautiful she is and kiss her like crazy. Then I want to get MARRIED and just enjoy touching and playing around with that beautiful body of hers and telling her how beautiful she is. And of course I want to do it with her as much as possible, but in a way that she will enjoy it too and just take our time. Then I want to just hold her and touch her some more afterwards. Yep, I never got to do that because I chose a path that was illicit. The price paid was that I never got to find out whom my cute 20-something wife would have looked like and what our kids would have looked like/been like. But hey, I still marriage is something sacred and something to look forward too. I think doing a relationship with a woman the right way is the only way to go, and that means eventually getting married. And I sure wasn't looking forward to the ceremony and all the $$$ it cost. I'd rather just go JP, but for her sake I would have been willing to do it for her. This living together stuff just so cheapens the relationship between a man & woman if you ask me. But see, I was an all-or-nothing about this. I was either going to do it completely right or completely wrong.

I found an old high school pic of me a few months ago in a Yearbook. I wasn't that great looking of a guy, but I'll bet I could have married some cutie girl later on in life.

http://www.pbase.com/craig_c/image/147402721/original

Then later on in life...

http://www.pbase.com/craig_c/image/126758177/original

Thanks for all of your comments

The CFS can cause you to feel depressed, but that cause is physical, so don't be too hard on yourself, a break-up can really devestate. In my 20's I was in a relationship and then became sick for a few months and so the guy broke off with me. It took a while to recover, but I met and married a wonderful guy when I was 31 and so can you!!!
isabelle1954