Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...
Hi DS friends. Been struggling through a really bad phase, back-to-back crashes.
Trying naturopathic approach, which has laid me flat for the last month..and also brought on depression (as if I dont have enough stress in my life).
Anyhoo, reaching out for a kind word. I am struggling right now.
..I'm angry at how God blessed me with such a good life, then took it away. Not just the things I had, the things that defined my sense of self but also the value that I added to the world, all the things I did and still want to do to help others.
.. been reading when I can. Am seeing a lot of stuff about childhood wounds possibly being a causative factor for CFS. I certainly know that a dysfunctional childhood is the root of my BPD and at the heart of the depression I work constantly to control. Now I'm pissed off that having survived, having risen above it all, having built a life I am proud of , having become a person I am am proud off.. that those thoughtless hurts would come back and take my life from me, where's the fairness in that? and I'm too exhausted to seek the help that I need.
.. I'm confused .. being treated for heavy metal toxicity, may have to remove fillings. On blood type diet, 10 different supplements.. so much information out there, so many different directions to go in. I guess you know what is right for you if you start to feel better, but how long do you put up with feeling like crap before you stop and try something else?
..I'm stressed .. if this is not sorted out in next 3 months I may have to quit my job. I am sole support for my son, I have no support system personally or otherwise, no social secuirty to fall back on..if I cant work ... Plus this naturopathic stuff costs an arm and two legs, and is not covered by my health insurace...
..I AM TIRED.. just sooo tired...
Still counting my blessings ..even if I fall asleep midway through the count :-)
Trying naturopathic approach, which has laid me flat for the last month..and also brought on depression (as if I dont have enough stress in my life).
Anyhoo, reaching out for a kind word. I am struggling right now.
..I'm angry at how God blessed me with such a good life, then took it away. Not just the things I had, the things that defined my sense of self but also the value that I added to the world, all the things I did and still want to do to help others.
.. been reading when I can. Am seeing a lot of stuff about childhood wounds possibly being a causative factor for CFS. I certainly know that a dysfunctional childhood is the root of my BPD and at the heart of the depression I work constantly to control. Now I'm pissed off that having survived, having risen above it all, having built a life I am proud of , having become a person I am am proud off.. that those thoughtless hurts would come back and take my life from me, where's the fairness in that? and I'm too exhausted to seek the help that I need.
.. I'm confused .. being treated for heavy metal toxicity, may have to remove fillings. On blood type diet, 10 different supplements.. so much information out there, so many different directions to go in. I guess you know what is right for you if you start to feel better, but how long do you put up with feeling like crap before you stop and try something else?
..I'm stressed .. if this is not sorted out in next 3 months I may have to quit my job. I am sole support for my son, I have no support system personally or otherwise, no social secuirty to fall back on..if I cant work ... Plus this naturopathic stuff costs an arm and two legs, and is not covered by my health insurace...
..I AM TIRED.. just sooo tired...
Still counting my blessings ..even if I fall asleep midway through the count :-)
It is truly a cruel path and lonely because of the lack in medical knowledge and support. All I can say to you is, trust your intuition and do the tests, etc.. that seem right. In the end it is your personal journey and you must decide what to pursue and what to give up on. I have myself found almost no help with any health therapy and have spent thousands. I can say that I've grown spiritually and am more open minded. My heart goes out to you, trust your decisions and I hope relief is coming soon to you.
I also rose above childhood abuse and major depressive disorder to get a Master's degree and even worked for the United Nations at one time. This disease stole my life also. You are not alone, we are all in the same boat unfortunately.
I'm sorry you're feeling hopeless at the moment, if I may offer my advice, you need to accept that things have changed in your life for a period of time, try to adapt to different hobbies, let your loved ones know that you need more time to rest, take a sick day and do something really relaxing. I know it's not an ideal answer but it just is.
For me I knew I had to accept my situation or go mad! Now I try realistic treatments at my own pace, I don't have a lot of money so I never spend more than I can easily afford on scientifically un-tested methods.
Try to remember that there are good days ahead, and that even on your worst days you have much to be thankful for and proud of.
These things help for me, I hope they can help you too.
Here is some info that may be helpful if things just go bad.
You need 40 credits for soc sec retirement, but only 20 for disability. It is also important to call and ask for your "last insurable date". For disability they look at the last 10 years before you could no longer work. You have to have so many credits within that time period. I don't qualify because I took 5 years off to be a stay at home mom when I was not married. I worked 2 1/2 years after that. It doesn't seem right to me. Retirement doesn't expire....so why does disability?
Then there is ISS. This is through social security and is only available for those in financial need. If you have $2,000 or more in the bank you don't qualify. They also look at the income of everyone who lives in your home, even if you're room mates. If you have no dependents you can receive a maximum of $765/month.
There are a lot of places that will work with you to prevent you from losing your home. This is largely because it is easier to help a family keep their home then to help them when they're homeless.
Since you own your home you could rent out rooms. If your place is big enough you may not have to work. You could even make helping with the construction a condition of living there.
Remember Family Medical Leave Act? It isn't just for time off. I used this to reduce my hours down to 30. Legally they had to comply or give me another job at the same pay. 30 was too much for me, but at least I would keep my benefits. I still had to quit my job. But without it I would have had to quit half a year sooner.
If you are confident that you can't get diability, hang on to your job. Stay until they fire you and then collect unemployment as long as possible.
You can make quite a bit of $ and still qualify for food stamps. If you reduce your hours look up online to see if you qualify. They have estimating things. This can help you pay the rest of your bills.
Even if you don't qualify for food stamps, you may qualify for the food bank. The rules are slightly different at every food bank. If you call yours up and tell them that you have been unable to work due to illness and may have to quit your job because of it, they may help you out. Even if you don't qualify most food banks will give you an "emergency bag" on request.
I think we all go through angry phases over what we have lost. We're not supposed to feel like this until the end of our lives. We've been cheated.
I wish I could think of kinder words in this moment. I have been having a hard time finding them for myself. You don't deserve this. You deserve better than what you have been put through.
I am thinking of your blessings as little sheep..because you fall asleep while you count them.
I was re-reading your post and as someone who has been gearing up to return full time to work, I thought I'd just say that, for me it seems that several supplements really help with energy (D-Ribose, 4X ginseng, eleuthero ginseng capsules, and L-Carnitine). After that, it seems to be a matter of putting up with feeling crappy at work. Letting go of anything beyond that in terms of treatment, besides complete rest during all non-work times, is how I am trudging forward. Don't know if any of this is helpful, but wanted to share. Hang in there. Hugs, Anne