mrsfits., my dogs are also great lizard HUNTERS, I try to teach them not to kill them. I love those Jack Russels and still miss the one we had. Maybe with his injured toe, he could do inactive kinds of play. I move my hand under a blanket or pillow, and sort of go towards my dog, still hidden, and she is captivated. Especially when it jumps towards her, still hidden, she has to get it first! So much fun these dogs are, life without dogs is impossible to imagine!

yes Norske, it's absolutely ridiculous to not be able to love C and GC. It's like having to control your breathing, which should be natural. Love not allowed to be expressed, that seems so unnatural --it seems it would require a lot more effort to maintain an offense for years than to talk it out or just plain forgive. The other ED told me it's easy, she goes numb easily and stays numb, so doesn't have to deal with it, whatever it is. Anyone who chooses being offended over loving, well it can't be good for their physical or spiritual health for starters.

I am still very tempted about leaving the pomegranates, maybe I'll throw caution to the wind and leave them. I was thinking of leaving a voicemail (she's had the same cell # for years no matter where she lives) and ask if I can leave them, and that I'm NOT interested at all in visiting, or being somewhere where I'm not welcome, so no need to worry about that. Just that I know how much she likes them and the tree is full......what do you think?...a voicemail. which is risking a "no", and feeling bad and running the risk of being told to never send or leave anything, or just leaving them....? Absurd situation to be in. I could put a loving card in the bag, and write what I said above, about no need to worry, I'm not interested in visiting...etc..

foreverlovi... just my opinion, but if it were me, I would leave a bag of pomegranates on her door step with a short note inside. I would not email or text. Your words are loving but too long. I have found these EC don't want to listen to us or read from us anything longer than about 5 words. They think we are lecturing them and they don't want our advice or loving thoughts. Sad, huh?

I would just put a note in the bag saying something like "Enjoy. Love, Mom"

that's probably very true about not using more than 5 words, and it is sad.When they are fully ripe, I'll probably do that, the bag of fruit with a note, but it will probably say more than 5 words, but I'll bear in mind that less is best. thank you, i needed the input from someone who's been there.

foreverlovi..... I would be very careful to not use any words she might see as a lecture, a feel guilty, etc. I remember when my mom would go on and on about something and in my head I was thinking, I wish she would be more upbeat and not drag on with the point she is trying to make -- and my mom and I had a great relationship.

So, my friend, with this first note, make it short and loving.

I was just wondering if there is someone that is in both your lives that could possibly take the pomegranates to her. That person could relay your simple message and make sure she receives them. Then you would also have the opportunity to get feedback about her response.

forgottenmom, sorry to answer so late, no there aren't any mutual friends, and there are no opportunites to ever get feedback. Thanks for the suggestion though.