GuelsMom - I agree with you. I would also love to send to DIL because if she wasn't so determined to keep us out of ES's live, he would be back also and bringing his daughter along.

If it is not a parents place to rebuke their children for wrong doing...then whose place is it ??? Shall we just let them run amuck and see the disintegration of not only spiritual but civil society ???

Or perhaps we should just "the government entities" do it? or just someone else...anyone else but us...their parents ?

I certainly do not think anyone...especially myself ... "reviled" you...That is an extraordinarily harsh word...I have attached the definition...
re·vile
[ri-vahyl]
verb (used with object), re·viled, re·vil·ing.
1.
to assail with contemptuous or opprobrious language; address or speak of abusively.

I personally take great offense to the word reviled...all said in the name of "christian love" To have a differing opinion either spiritual or material is simply that ...a differing opinion...open to continued discussion. To misuse words that are intended to harm another is something other than an opinion.

AllK

I don't feel it is my place to rebuke my grown children for rejecting me, anymore than it is my place to rebuke those on this board who would revile me just because I differ with their statement that " I have to disagree with wanting them to be happy without us . . ." Everyone is free to express their opinions on this board and there is nothing wrong with me saying that we should love our children even when we feel they may not deserve it. Jesus says that when they slap you, we should turn our heads and give them the other cheek to slap. Yes, I think we should wish and hope that our children are happy in their lives, even if they wrongly reject us. That is my understanding of true Christian love. I am sorry that some have come to the point where they do not feel this in their spirit. Peace and love to all --EJ

I just felt led to say that it is so clear that each of us loves our EC. We are hurt that they have chosen (for whatever reasons) that they do not want us to be a part of their life (right now). We grieve over our loss. We will never stop praying that God will change their hearts. Only He can.

I am thankful for each one of my brothers and sister, here. We love Jesus and he care about one another although we travel different journeys of estrangement. God bless us all with His Shalom.

This is good article.

Lindajoan, I have always known you to be filled with the spirit and I thank God for your presence as I do each one of our "brothers and sisters" here, as you say. Yes, we love them. That is why it hurts so badly. It is not wrong to want to lash out and tell them they are wrong. That is totally understandable. But when it comes to grown children, will that help? God waits patiently for us to come to Him, and for the know-it-all children to come to Him. When they have lived long enough to realize they don't know it all their spirit will move them toward God and those who have truly loved them. I am sure I speak for many when I say it is wonderful to love God and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I lean on Him while He patiently makes sense out of their confusion.

Epic, I agree. The more try to tell our adult children what they are doing wrong it is just usually resented. It is best to wait and pray. God has the Best way.

They WILL reap what they sow. Already my ED is having troubles with her own son, who she demands must follow the very standards she refused to follow as a teen. She is the great mom I never could be; the one everyone goes to for help. But she cannot help herself or her own situation, or even see how pitiful it really is. They believe they are so much more, and they are so much less in so many ways. It is a delusion like St. Paul speaks of in the Bible, the operation of error to believe their own lies. God will show them the folly of their errors in His own time, but will they repent or will it be too late?

Ontheouts, they have so much to learn. I used to post a sign on my refrigerator that I found at a shop somewhere that contained a message to my then-teens. It said: " Hurry! Pack your stuff and move out while you still know everything!"

thanks for sharing that, I sent it to K's ex MIL (my new friend) and private message on FB and wished she'd post it on her wall, Ginny is quite a lady and too bad we spent so many years never knoing each other until the past 2 years. Better late then never. Ginny and husband has turned out to be family now as my ex SIL is now my son!

New friends and family come into our lives in ways we would never expect. God works in mysterious ways sometimes, but always for good. Glad to hear from you stargrlskater7.

Norske, I reread this article. It brought such sadness thinking how in our ED's case she heard the opposite from all of the enablers who she has encountered during this past two years. Only one couple tried to speak this kind of truth to her and she ran from them we were told. Other enablers just bought the lies, false allegations, and disrespect without even knowing us or checking out the story. Even youth leaders and a pastor (not ours) who had opportunity to speak truth dropped the ball. I am still righteously angry at how weak they all were. The enemy had his way through it all.

We can pray that one day God will reveal this truth to the hearts and minds of our EC. PTL for preachers and writers who stand firmly on God's Word in a world where everything is do watered down thus the condition of our Country and our families.

Much confusion arises when peers and so-called mentors encourage young adults to be independent of their parents. It is good for young adults to be independent of their parents. It is a natural part of growth. But being an independent adult does not mean rejection, denial, disrespect, or estrangement. Somehow this critical distinction has been lost on our children, and in many cases, there is some peer or mentor enabler involved. Our children should not be vulnerable to these enablers. As they learn to make their way in the world they need to learn who to consult when they have problems and who they can count on. Parents are not perfect people but most love their children and are committed to helping them. When they reject us they often are rejecting the most important resource they have in their lives. In the absence of an abuse scenario, this cannot be a very smart decision. But more importantly, it defies God, and that is where our focus needs to be. We cannot make our children accept us. It should be automatic and it is so sad and desperate when we beat our heads against a wall, trying to get them to love us. When they accept God all will be as it should be, and we must have faith this will be so. No enabler can match the omniscience of God or our children filled with the spirit of the Holy Ghost.

lindajoan- we definitely experienced rejection from the parents of our ES's friends. We knew these parents all through school, they knew we were loving parents who just wouldn't cave in to the verbal abuse of our DIL, yet they became our ES's wonderful adopted parents. I wish I had the strength to confront them and ask them why they would ever believe the lies of the DIL over knowing the truth about my DH and me.

I am not angry anymore at any of them; I'm saddened that they look through rose-colored glasses. Even the minister who married my ES was afraid of DIL. When I did confront him as to why he didn't minister to them about honoring your parents, etc., his comment was that they were just set in their ways and immature so anything he said would go on deaf ears, so chose to say nothing.

Thank you Epic for reminding me that no enabler is more powerful than our omnipotent God.

Norske, I'm sorry but shame on that pastor. I am also thinking of these enabling parents and fear the answer to the following question. Did DIL's parents want things this way as to be the only ones? How evil that would be.