Now if we could only get our estranged children to read and understand this...

It is a very good article...thanks for posting

AllK

Thank you Norske for posting this. I want so badly to print this and send it anonymously to my son and DIL; with certain parts highlighted. But they would immediately see the postmark and know we sent it.

forgottenmomn - you and me both. I would like nothing better than to send it to my ES and DIL. It is long and they wouldn't take the time to read it - at least that would be their excuse. I'm keeping a copy though.

Just joking but...... the thought came to mind that we could exchange addresses by private message and mail them to each others sons. That way they would have no idea where they came from. haha

forgottenmomn - might be something we should consider and pray about.

I think if it came from the moon, they would know who sent it. Our children have decided to dishonor us in the same way that a murderer decides to kill someone or a thief decides to steal. I know I am a disappointment to my son, and he wants me to know it. I wasn't professional enough for him, or athletic enough, or skinny enough, or rich enough, or serious enough. Other people were all of these things; other mothers cooked better; and other parents were far more interesting. My love for him meant nothing.

This was my son's anniversary with his girlfriend. He said on Facebook that she had made him happier than he had ever been. I'm glad. I'm glad he's happy. But in his mind he can only be happy by throwing me out with the trash. I'm stupid and worthless. She is beautiful and fulfills his every dream. I'm not jealous of her because it is a time of his life when he should be with a young woman. But why does that mean that I am thrown into the trash heap? He's also abandoned his relationship with his son. Is that part of it. Get rid of every contact from the past? Find happiness only in the new. I may not have been the dream mother, but I never discarded him.

Tikva, thank you for your post. Yes, when they want to start something new, they may toss us aside.

They live for today, they disregard the past, the present or future trumps all the years we put in.

hugs, I feel for you. I choose to pay it forward to someone who will appreciate it, who does deserve it, who has nothing.

Great info Norske! Love ya!

This article made me think about the unhealthy relationship I have with my own elderly mother.

It makes me think that although she will never acknowledge hurting me, I have decided to forgive her, which is what God wants me to do. I have sent her another loving letter again..hoping she will read it and realize that I still love her, forgive her even when she doesn't think she's done anything wrong and refuses to validate my deeply wounded feelings.
Last week I made an attempt to talk to her on the phone, however she hung up on me..then told my brother (who still talks to me) that I hung up on her...I just can't win this battle.
This battle belongs to the Lord.
Sometimes I think that being silent is the only healthy strategy..however, when I stay silent, I am accused of not caring, by my unkind sisters......I just feel so confused about how to express to her my love and my deep wounded feelings at the same time.
The Word of God brings me great comfort...the best comfort in the world for me.

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

Awesome article. Wish my ED could read it.

Wonderful article. Thank you Norske.

Excellent and true article. Honor your parents is a command with a promise. It is not a suggestion.

what about when your parent enc alienation, she took my son in and pushed me aside, i was ridiculed , i understand to honor them , my upbringin wasnt easy yet my parents were included in my and my childrens life, i never thought i would live with this situation in my life I found joy and loved everyone. and i feel beat to the dirt

Sorry for your pain glazzbird, It is not always possible to have a close relationship with one's parents after certain experiences it seems. In which case there is still forgiveness to be given and not retaliating. God bless you for all the grace you show in the midst of such a difficult situation.