Faith, I think in my ES's case, he does think of all the choices that he's made. At least, our last time speaking, and maybe a couple others before, he said something along the lines that he feels we don't support the choices he's made. For instance, the atheist girl he married. The fact that they lived together before they married. Because she didn't want to change their name after marriage, he legally changed his last name to HERS. We weren't invited to the wedding. Yes, we didn't approve of those choices! And often we only found out about them after the fact. Personally, I believe he knows all too well that those were in direct contradiction to the values and beliefs with which he was raised and is feeling convicted by the Holy Spirit deep in his soul. But it's so much easier to not deal with something you know is wrong and avoid the people that remind you it's wrong. My one comfort is that perhaps this estrangement is caused exactly because the Holy Spirit is at work in him! Even though he's selfish, and all our EC's are, I still believe that God is at work in them, bringing about a victory because He loves them even more than we do!

I never heard from DD28 (my only DD who lives here), so dh and are going away for years weekend to celebrate our anniversary which was Thursday. I suppose I'll get phone calls or texts from my 3 daughters who live in other states.

Everloving....I know I am not telling you something you don't already know.....this is your first year grieving your es and family and like any loss, the first year seems to be the hardest.

Also, unless someone has walked our journey, they truly don't understand..... including our Christian brothers and sisters In fact, we have been in a new church for about 2 years and I have not told anyone about my estrangement. I simply talk about DD and grands. I have been estranged for a long time and have learned to be very particular who I share this with. Sometimes my unsaved friends have been the most compassionate and understanding.

Like you, I was quite close to dil and actually supported her (against my es's wishes) in not aborting. Sadly, she did have a miscarriage, but she doesn't have to live with thoughts of having had an abortion. And we shared lots of things over the years. I cannot believe that they just forget our love and concern and everything we did and said that was good?

And about the Hallmark movie....we each have to do what is right for us at any given time. And sometimes we don't even understand why we are subjecting ourselves to additional emotional pain, but it is okay....whichever way we are led. You can be proud of your son and I am proud of him for serving. Praying for God's healing in your family.