Sorry to hear your ES has not continued to connect at this time. I pray he will. It seems like your DIL's family has a hold on them,again. Let's always remember that God is in control of all people and all things.

How is your DH?

lindajoan - my DH is doing very well. Slow and go, pain comes and goes, as the incisions heal. He goes this week to have the staples taken out; next week to find out which targeted therapy they will use on the remaining cancer cells.

Sure wish I knew the secret as to how DIL's step mom and dad have such a hold on my ES.

I think it may be the hold they have on your DIL this in turn the hold DIL has on your ES. Praying for your DH's healing.

lindajoan - thanks for the prayers for DH and yes, you are right. DIL's step mom has a huge hold on her. If she would only wake up and reconnect with her birth mom who misses her so much. It was obvious the one day ES brought the family that DIL is the boss 100%.

This is just my opinion, but it seems your ES and DIL have "done the right thing" and visited and been friendly in the hopes to relieve their guilt for a while. It's such a shame that they can be so hurtful and be so selfish. I still say the devil has his hooks in our EC's and we need to let Go and Let God have them and not look back. It's so darn hard and it hurts so much. Sorry that your ES didn't stick around and that he's now off with the "family" for family vacation and you and your DH are alone again. My DH and I have each other too. That's a blessing!

I think all of this is such a change for your son that it might be better for him to continue to reconcile on his timing. He still is used to being more involved with the others in his life and may have had those plans for quite awhile. Give him a month to see if he continues to check in on his father. If he doesn't check in just check in to see how he's doing. Just let him know you miss talking with him and want to know how he is.

I feel the same way texassunshine - couldn't believe DIL hugged DH and me and said "it's been too long". Whose fault is that? But I didn't say it, just smiled. I am a bit ticked at his lack of connection now that DH is home and also that now her family are so wonderful again -- but, it is what it is.

I don't have the anger or sadness that I had before. I guess I am too concentrated on my DH beating this cancer.

Thanks for all your support and prayers.

I'm sorry Norske1. I understand the anger, I still have it. I guess it hasn't been long enough yet?? I ask God to relieve me and it hasn't happened yet. I am less angry and hurt, but still feel angry and hurt-if that makes sense? Ugh, I wish I could wave a magic wand and have everyone's hurt heart just heal up whole again!!! I don't understand it sometimes. I will keep you and your DH in our prayers and please keep us posted on his progress! We care!!

We will keep you DH in thoughts and prayers.Please take care of him and yourself.

It's not as much anger as it is "disappointment". With all the caring he showed the week DH was in the hospital and now that DH has been home for over a week and nothing. He can go on vacation with his wife's family but can't find 5 minutes to text or call to see how DH is doing -- makes me disappointed in him.

I am so sorry Norske1. yes thats the word disappointment i just dont understand why?Its like opening up a new wound.Again im so sorry.

The word disappointment is the correct word. When our ED has text I have often gotten encouraged that she may want a connection. I soon found out there was another reason. My DH usually sees it correctly from the start.

I truly hope your ES checks on on his Dad's progress in the near future. Please keep is posted.

Disappointment is the word for sure and they just keep disappointing us sooner or later...but I cannot lower the bar just to make life easier for them...I have to look at myself every day and know that I stood for right.

My thoughts and prayers continue to be for you Norske and your DH's complete recovery and that you two may have many more years together...

As for all of the estranged or semi estranged ones...they are in God's hands only he can fix them...not me.

AllK