Agreed!

Bella479, I didn't see a post asking about who is responsible for medical decisions. It seems this was from last year but I'll answer your question and the original one. The answer to your questions is yes, my mother knows my wishes for medical decisions. She knows I do not want to be an organ donor, she knows how I feel about when and if to stop life support, and she knows my wishes to be cremated and planted with a tree on private property as I don't want a stone or memorial. My husband feels the same and she is also his decision maker as his parents are gone and he's not close to the 1/2 siblings that are still living. For some immediate things my son would still be making choices but for major life/death decisions it's my mom. If my mom passes my sister would be listed for that purpose.

As far as changing a will, we don't have a ton of money to leave but do have a 6 year old daughter and it's already outlined that a wonderful God fearing couple at our church would finish raising her and make her big life decisions if we both went at the same time. My son would have visitation with her but as far as trusting him to raise her and be patient, kind, compassionate, and keep her rooted in the Lord I'm not willing to take that risk. We are making it official and at a time when things are calm with our son we will explain it to him. I expect that it will upset him, maybe make him angry, but our daughter needs a stable, kind, Godly home and I wouldn't want her leaving our church. My parents are up in years and both have health problems so I would want her to stay in this state, in this church, and close to our son without actually living with him.

I decided to leave my ED out of my will. My lawyer wrote in the will that I gave enough to her growing up and that was all she was getting. I don't feel she should be rewarded for disowning me and blaming me for her decision to become an atheist. If she came back it would be only because either her husband and she got divorced or he died. She doesn't work. But it would take me a long time to trust her again.

When we made our last will, we made BIL executor and will leave both of our kids a small portion of the estate which includes home, household goods and such. We are leaving $$ to husband's sisters, church, a flat amount to GKs and a percentage of estate for BIL to settle estate. Majority of our money will go through retirement accounts like 401k, IRA and Roth IRAs and Life Insurance by beneficiary - not through the will. Depending on the account, kids will get uneven amounts with GKs getting the portions we don't want going to Estranged kids.

nelliemae - let me suggest that you put an age on the money left for grandkids. My friend's father left money to his children (the grandchildren) and put an age of 30 before distribution. Kids today are very immature and have that entitlement attitude. He was afraid if they received the money at a younger age, they would squander it. I would even suggest age 35.

I have started a 509 college fund for my granddaughter. I put money in there twice a year. It is protected from taxes. And if she doesn't go to college, she won't automatically get it. Your financial advisor can advise you on that.