My mom has been in a facility for nearly two months now. They were originally doing physical therapy on her, but eventually stopped. My mom's fear of falling has gotten worse at this place. At the last rehab she would at least stand for them most of the time (albeit with a lot of fear), but for whatever reason her fear grew worse when she arrived at this place. She wouldn't stand for them without them needing a couple of people to lift her up. Her fear grew worse after a few day stay in the hospital where she was in bed the entire time. Now she won't stand up even with help so they need to get a lift to get her up. She was supposed to come home at some point with the help the office of aging can provide, but now I don't even think that is going to be possible.

They are finally starting her on a medication for anxiety. They also are starting an anti depressant because she seems real depressed lately due to her situation. I hope it somehow helps her fear, but that hope is not much after seeing nothing improve since October.

I also wanted to write about what I am going through due to all of this. It is taking a huge toll on me. I visit my mom every day, but it's rough. I try to stay at least two hours, but those are the longest two hours of my day. There is nothing to do, but watch my mom spend the two hours trying to get in bed, but can't because she is two scared to stand up. She never wants me to leave when I go and talks about how miserable she is without me so it just depresses me even further and leaves me with a load of guilt.

The last two times I've been in the dining room with my mom for lunch really got to me as the reality of the situation hit me over the head. It's like I'm losing my mom before I lose my mom. I just can't believe it's come to this and all over a flipping fear of falling.