Hello ,I to have been told I'm taking over and it doesn't feel like it's there home anymore but I do cook every meal for them so I do tell them I'm cooking so I need to have kitchen set up my way, also they have a major hoarding problem that I have had to deal with on my own so with that said anything missing is my fault because I threw it out .and cleaning out the fridge is a whole ordeal being depression baby's my parent's mainly my step dad has a fit if I should toss /dispose of anything I check dates on cans due to the fact that he gose to the food bank instead of buying groceries because he has a gambling addiction my step dads motto is better old food then no food oh yes WHAT EVER YOU DO KEEP ALL RECEIPTS FOR FOOD YOU BUY OR FURNITURE ANY THING OUT OF YOUR POCKET YOU PAY FOR , I have been told that its are food your eatting and as far as the cable issue your having I don't watch tv it's all theirs been through that drama already I wait till again like children they have had breakfast and medication or have had lunch and go on a hour nap or after dinner and medication then i get on my phone and play a game As like you I get hurt ,I get angry ,I feel like giving up and just walking away,but I can't I love my mother to much keep in touch if it helps you, be careful what you sign if you should speak with adult protection services they most likely want you to sign for guardianship be very firm with what YOU WANT remember your only human only you know how much you can handle( YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST) or you will not be able to take care of or handle what's ahead (START A SCHEDULE SO YOU GIVE YOURSELF TIME OUT )OR THIER REALITY WILL BECOME YOURS ,,, remember your not alone stay calm some days are going to be crazy and others just fine I know its hard we both are dealing with the same family issues any other questions just ask I've dealt with sheriff's, social workers, Doctors ,nurses , the whole gammit

Yup, we all get that in some form or other. About all you can do is to decide what limits you need to set. As our parents slip deeper into dementia it becomes harder for them to understand the limits and the consequences of them.

But do NOT let that stop you!

There were times I would get upset and then I'd feel guilty....sigh.... Caregiving is hard....

You have feelings to and you're entitled to them..... Journal-ling might help to let them out

Do you have anyone to help give you some you time ?

I tried to see dementia for what it is but there are times that it's tough....

I can remember taking my mom to the hospital when she wouldn't eat and literally dropping her off in emerg and leaving

I was overwhelmed...... Give yourself permission to have your feelings ....

Remind yourself that this is illness and it really isn't personal..... Dementia effects moods and personality


I'm glad that you're here..... Gentle hug.......xo

For several years, I felt like my mom was chronically mad at me. She got mad when I took her medications away, especially. She hadn't been taking them correctly; we tried a pill reminder case...that helped for less than a week. Then I took them away entirely. Ma didn't speak to me for a week.

Actually, the anger has gotten better as the dementia has advanced, I think because her memory is so poor.

This is so, SO HARD, harder than I ever thought it would be. I get a "thank you" every now & then. Most of the time not. I try to remind myself that it's the disease. Ma was always so polite, gracious, and nice; the woman she really is would never have been so dimissive and cold.

Sending good thoughts your way. Try to remember that this is NOT YOUR FAULT.

Thanks so much, to all of you! I hope you all take the advice you've given to me to your own hearts as well and know that I wish you all the best as you are going through this trying time in our lives. In my family we do a thing called the peaks or the pits. This is definitely the pits!!!!

Are you doing any better these days?

Thank you so much for asking. As you can see, I don't get on the site very much. Most days I go home crying....angry, sad, and frustrated at the situation ....trying to remember that it's not me it is happening to but still feeling the brunt of all that is happening....and always, always feeling so alone and abandoned. I'm sure so many of you go through worse things than I, but I do appreciate just "saying" it and knowing I won't be judged unfairly. I hope you and everyone is doing ok, and again thank you for thinking of me.

It is so very hard to endure this. But I guess the best way is to internalize things like this as " this is not my mom, only a shell of who she used to be."