Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Have been on this site in the past for depression-related issues - now caregiving for my 88 year old mom. Before this past year - I actually enjoyed caring for mom. She has done so much for me in the past I sort of "jumped" at the chance to make her last days on earth as pleasant as possible. She had a stroke in 22 and luckily I was with her when it happened so I got her to the hospital quickly and they gave her a clot-blasting med and her recovery was pretty good. But I moved in with her afterwards to ensure her safety, etc.
The reality of caregiving has set in, in the last year. Today, I feel tired, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Granted I have 2 siblings - however, one lives across the United States and the other is nearby but disabled, more mentally-so than me, so I am also caregiving for her to an extent since mom is now limited. Unfortunately, she (my disabled sibling) and I do not get along, which makes it worse.
Mom is able to move around the house ok, but her short-term memory is shot and she is not able to follow conversations well. She knows her mind is going and it scares her. It breaks my heart to hear this. She has fallen down the stairs once already - thank God I was here for that as well - so the fear of it happening again is very real.
Essentially as a person who has had mental health issues throughout my life and now has to confront this head on, and alone pretty much day-to-day with my mom, I can't help but worry...when I can and have the energy to...about me. Will I survive this? Can I survive this? How will I survive this?
Thank you for reading...tbc.
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I have to go through old photos that I recently got from my youngest brother. I have hesitated to start because I will get obsessed and I will be saying "how cute" and taking pics of pics and sending them to people. I guess I got my love of taking pics from my Mom. My brothers never got into taking pics. My cousin wants to see if I have any pics of my Aunt when she was younger for the...
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My emotions have been bottled up all week and I haven't felt good as a result. My Aunt passed away on Monday morning. I saw her on Sunday. I knew it wouldn't be long. I called the nursing home on Monday morning to tell them to get a message to her but I was told that they had already called the funeral home. I asked if she passed away and the nurse said yes, I thought you knew. I...
See if there are caregiver resources available to you in your area (respite care is often available - just a matter of finding the right person to contact).
When you are the primary caregiver and your awareness of significant physical and mental changes is overwhelming because that is real life grief you're feeling as you are seeing them change before your own eyes and ears.
Make a simple daily task schedule to help ease your brain memory bank - and acknowledge the elephant in the room with the loss of memory and the scariness of watching your person struggle with this reality of their life.
Energy is directed to keeping you sane and stable - so keep a positive image and saying to remind yourself to stay focused on the 'in the moment' because you are on constant alert for the danger of things happening.
I hope someone is able to help you in your local area - thinking of you and cheering you on, you are doing a wonderful job!!!!!
You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned being on constant alert for danger of things happening. It slowly wears you down - and I'm conflicted about when/if/how I should get more assistance in care giving for mom.
This really is a role I never anticipated or prepared for. I know there are many others out there in the same shoes and want to encourage people to post if they need/want support.
I have yet to find an in-person support group to attend - thus I thought here at DS would be a good place to start.
Will keep posting - it helps to vent a bit....