Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
ive been taking care of my mom for awhile now. The end of 2015 she fell and broke her wrist. I stayed with her for 7 weeks, and then a friend stayed with her for 2 weeks. She insisted that she was capable of being on her own, so I let her, but checked on her constantly. 2 weeks later, she fell and broke her hip. After the hospital she went to rehab for 3 weeks, then I put her in an assisted living. She stayed there for 7 1/2 months, then I decided to bring her home to her condo, basically due to money. She's been home since October 28,2016. I'm here all the time with her. My husband and son are at home and I miss them very much. I do have a caregiver come on Monday Wednesdays and Fridays for eight hours a day. I don't want my mom alone since she had two falls close together. She's also suffering from dementia. She thinks she's fine, but she's not. It's so hard because you never know what's going to come out of her mouth. Most of the time lately she's been pretty calm. Once in a while she has a flair up out of the blue and starts yelling at me and crying, and saying she doesn't want to live anymore, and that she wants to kill herself. After I get her calmed down she forgets all about it. I have a brother that lives in another state, but he won't help me at all. He won't even talk to me. His wife is bossy and likes to take over things. They pop in town once in a while, stir things up and pops out. My main issue now that is bugging me is, my mom has what I call "Company politeness ". When someone calls, people come over or even at the doctors she has the ability to act like she's fine or doing good, then when I'm alone with her, I get the confusedness and craziness. Then people that don't see her much, see that good side of her, and think she's fine and I'm the crazy one. It's just frustrating for me. So I'm really struggling right now, and also having a hard time with my self worth. I'm so glad I found this group, and really need to talk to people that understand. Thanks so much. Denise
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I know this is stupid, but after not being able to find a job after graduation for almost two years, I ended up just taking an online teaching job because I couldn't find anything in my field. I was trying to get out of teaching and I feel so devastated. I felt this crushing feeling when I signed the paperwork and when I was in the meetings. I know that sounds so dramatic but it is how I felt. It...
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Tomorrow is National Massachusetts Day!Have you ever lived in or visited Massachusetts? If so, tell us what's great about the Bay State!
Yup, the "it is all going well" act is common. My wife's brother only saw the good side of his mother until he stayed with her for a week while we got our first vacation in years. He saw all the good, the bad and the ugly (to borrow a phrase from that movie) that there was. Now he is much more receptive to news about his mother having issues.
Getting on your mother's medical records as being able to talk to the doctors is important. Once you can let the doctors know that your mother is slipping, they can look for the more subtle clues that they might not spend the time looking for.
Gentle hugs
Thanks for replying. Glad you were able to convince your wives brother about your MIL. Good that he stayed with her for a week. Wish my brother would help, but he won't so I need to accept that. He barely sees his mom when he's in town, he's too busy having fun. He was down recently and didn't even bother to see her at all.
I'm power of attorney for my mom, I'm on one of her bank accounts, and I handle things with her doctors. I know some of the specialist don't really know how bad she is, because they run in the room and out. I like her regular doctor, and her caseworker. I can call the caseworker whenever I need to, and she called me last week just to check on things. We went to a neurologist a couple of times, but he was a kook and my mom acted like she was fine with him, so he was of no help. I just try and take one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. I'm trying to do my best.