Caring For Aging Parents Support Group

Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.

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How do you know if mom is exagerating?

Edger
Edger
She kept telling me she was in extreme pain. Ok it was last week. She sounds better now. But each time I talk to her she says she is in pain. A few days ago she said it was hard to walk. She uses a walker. So I'm sure it hurt. Since it was her shoulders and arms that caused the pain.

I'm trying to get her help as soon as possible. So a physical theapist is comming on Saturday. It is a man. I never expected it to be a man. Mom said dont they have a woman? I said he works the weekend shift. She tells me it didn't have to be on the weekend for the appointment. It could have waited for a weekday.

I'm not thrilled myself that it is a man. But I thought she wanted help for her pain as soon as possible.

Barbara
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
It can be hard to tell if a person is lying about being in pain. But you can look at them doing things and look for contradictions.

When my wife was pregnant we asked the doctor when it would be time to go to the hospital. He said that if she could talk through the contractions, she was not ready.

When I was reffing a youth soccer game, a keeper took a hard bounce on the ground. I thought her arm was broken, she said no. But any attempt to move her arm (by her, I did not touch her) made her grimace in pain. But this is a case where she was lying about NOT being in pain.

Guess I'm saying watch her, see what she does. Especially if she things you are not looking!

I get the thing, your mother wants a woman doing her PT. My dad had both men and women doing OT and PT on him. But for him, he was a big man, he needed a couple of strong guys working with him on his walking.

I suspect that the PT person has experience with people faking things (both ways) and should be able to give you some feed back about what he thinks your mother is really feeling.


Sorry to ramble so ...

Gentle hugs
Edger
Edger
She is not faking. She is just extremely negative. She told me to read a instruction manual to my brother the last time I was there. That he can't read. Actually, he has a hard time reading. But he can read.
It's just hard to know when she says she is feeling bad, sick, etc. how bad is it really? I don't see her hardly ever. But I can tell something from her voice. And if she aks me what I'm doing or if she only talks about her pain,etc.
billwfriend
billwfriend
My mom is one who never talked about pain...but she held it in...now we are knowing she is in bad back pain not only by how she walks but she is also talking about being in pain...that was a Corky No No before...anyway I wish I could heal her back but the only thing they can do is keep medicating with opiods....
pd2012
pd2012
It's almost impossible to gauge someone else's pain level or what someone has learned to live with. Pain management is no easy solution. You could talk to her doctor and try to guesstimate but that's usually a useless task as the doctors are reluctant to write a pain script for the elderly as they could easily become a fall risk. Or you run into the scenario where the doctor(s) write the script and then leave the unsteady patient up to the family to monitor.

Every situation of care runs differently. Some parents are capable of monitoring their medications and taking them appropriately and others aren't.

I'm with you on the PT, whatever the gender is; if you need immediate help, I just got that for you. I'm sorry it's not what you wanted exactly, (and I don't blame her) but at least you fulfilled her needs and quickly...
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