Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
it has been awhile since I posted and I have missed it and need to, just to get things out. problem is the day to day crap with my mother all blends and I don't even know what tosay anymore. she is getting worse, refuses to get help outside my sister and I and my dad doesn't help with that either, he needs to support us. I am just tired of feeling not god enough and keeping my irritation and annoyance in check when on the phone or over there. I don't know how much longer I can do it. when leaving last night, my dad said remember your mother will be alone today, he volunteers on the senior van at age 91! I just happen to have today off, I usually don't. I called when I got home offered to take her to the mall she always says no one will take her. I want to go around 11 and that is to early for her as she always says, mornings are not good. well afternoons don't work for me, and 11 is late enough I would think. she went back and forth I finally said never mind, call in the morning if you change. well about 5 minutes later she calls and said errands around town would be helpful, fine I said, agai not god at 11, said I have appt. at 2:15 and their neighbor is bringing her grocery shopping at 1. said mom it will be to much for you, dong all you say, letsjust pick a coupleof errands, then it was the whining, I said forget it, it wont work, hung up. I was so stressed I cant stand it. I already had opened my big mouth saying I would make a beef stew for Tuesday dinner, why
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
It works for her, sounds like that is how your mother wants things.
Perhaps next time tell her that you are available between 11:00 and 1:30 to help her with things. That way you get straight to the schedule of things without all the emotional negotiations that you have to endure with her.
Then she can say something like, "OK, I'm good from noon to 3:00 so that gives us an hour. Can we do ... "
I'd set up a certain time too, just keep in mind the time you set will be something that you'll have to work with later on so choose that time wisely. I have to remind myself once in awhile that what I commit to one day, I'll be committed to for life afterwards...