Welcome to the DS community.

You are definitely not alone in this.

This is one of the most common scams and apparently, there is a list that is sold on the dark web which is why the scammers are able to continue to hit the same elderly people time, time, and time again.

What you need to do is remove her profile information from the dating app itself, plus report the dating app for fraud. With her phone, I'm not able to figure out how to block those apps, and it will take some research.

Yes, they want to be independent. However, their decision making is not working.

You can obtain power of attorney for financial, legal, and medical.

It does NOT get better. Sorry to burst that bubble of hope.

I'm currently in my third year of fighting extended car warranty mailers that the elderly parent thinks is extra car insurance. It's a well known elderly scam. I've reported the ones I am able to, and as I find the new ones, I'm working to report those as well.

I will tell you to NOT disagree with her. Find a way to be positive. It's a lot easier to change their view through distraction (takes a lot of effort to make the connections).

I would suggest her joining a senior citizens group, or at least a group activity that provides her with social interaction.

The reason the 'love' scams work is because they bring the romance into view through polished rehearsed methods proven to be successful.

You are not alone.

I've been thru a bunch of scammers. They think we are stupid. I made myself a policy to never give a man money. End of story. No way, no how. If they decide they want more from me than to get to know me and friendship at first, it is usually a scam. I am not going to be a "mother" for a disabled son, "mother" to his daughter who is in boarding school or anything else. Watch the clothes they wear, the background of the profile picture, and how they say their words. I had a guy tell me he was in a submarine in Jefferson City Mo. Coast Guard sub. Total bogus!!!!!

Your mother is actually very young in the world of older adults. Yet, you write this has been happening for quite a while? I hear your frustration and I want to give perhaps another perspective on what you wrote. I could very well be incorrect here but some things just struck me as my career was working with older adults.

I am going to suggest you consider that your mother perhaps has some form of early dementia, and get her checked out starting with her medical provider. Normal things people her age do is have classes and events to go to, still work, grocery shop with a list and getting what is on the list, bathe every day, wear clean clothes, brush teeth twice a day, style hair, keep a clean house, be able to follow a recipe to cook, be able to create a menu and follow it for a dinner party, go out to lunch with friends, drive to a new location for a new type of appointment or event without getting lost, follow current events, take medications on time, pay bills by themselves and follow a budget, etc. If you give her a list of 5 items, can she remember them in five minutes or ten minutes. Some of this you may not even be aware of, my MIL would not bathe or brush her teeth for years and faked it. My MIL could not carry on a real conversation about current events or even what the grandchildren were doing beyond a few bland learned comments. So five minutes with my MIL made her look lively and normal. Twenty minutes asking her what she thought about X in the news, showed you she had no clue.

While your mom may simply need or like the attention from these fake men, remember there are many younger adults who get sucked into this fraud stuff. There is a TV show about people who find foreign loves through online dating, Facebook, etc. and they give tons of money to these new love people who they have usually never met. So this is a million dollar market and if your mom is on social media (FB), it might be that as well as dating sites.

This is not normal older adult behavior and raises a red flag to me. I have many 68 year old friends and older who do not fall for these scams and who can handle their finances. I suspect she needs a neurological-cognitive work up and dementia testing and maybe can not live independently any longer. It is also possible that she has never taken responsibility for money her entire life and simply doesn't see it as something she must do. Kind of like living in fantasy land. As in never having taken responsibility for these issues or financial realities.
And loving male attention.

If this is not dementia, perhaps she would be happier living with other older adults in an independent living community where she can take classes and do activities with others. If this is dementia, she may need to be in an assisted living memory care or have caregivers in the home.

Lastly, consider seeking legal guardianship for your mom if she is not able to care for herself or take care of her finances. This will involve seeking an attorney's advice. Instead of seeing her as a problem child, see her brain as not working properly and her needing care and attendance to keep her safe. Just as if she had cancer, you'd try to help her with medical issues. See this as a brain health issue.

Please let us know how you are doing. Its a long road, a sad road, a frustrating road but you are a loving adult child to care for your mom so much. To love her enough to step in and help her. Even if she doesn't seem to follow your advice or do the "normal thing." Big hugs to you.

I’m so sorry you’re having this problem. Looks like the scammers target older people. My mom has had the problems with the scammers too. I’ve been taking care of her finances about 2 years. It’s a tough job we have caring for our elderly parents. I will keep you in prayer. God bless.

I've Been there, Not with parent's, but myself. I've been on plenty of dating sites, People giving You sob stories about how a relative died, And they were left a Substantial amount of money, and They will give You a percentage if You help them get to the to the U.S or that their lives are in danger, Something like that, I've never fallen for that.

Online dating can be a good thing, But, can also be bad........There are dating sites out there, that CLAIM TO BE for senior's......The world is a scary place.