Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
I'm new to this website. I've been in need of help for depression and alcoholism and found this. I was very happy to see this group. I'm 26,married,and have two young kids. I also am responsible for taking care of my mother in law who has Alzheimer's. She moved in with us a year ago. It has been a very trying time. We are just getting our lives started. We had just bought a house and were going to get married and talked about having another baby. And unexpectedly had to take her in. Her Alzheimer's has progressed rapidly. I've told my husband we have to get some kind of home care help for bathing and things like that because she just can't do it anymore and it's been so hard for me trying to do these things. I feel bad for her. I truly do. She's had a hard life and she's aware of her condition and it upsets her. But honestly it has had such a negative effect on me and I don't know how to cope with it sometimes. I feel resentment at times. We haven't had another baby because there's no way I could handle that now. I can't be gone for long periods because I have to worry about her. My whole life has changed and sometimes I just don't want to do it anymore. Sorry to go off about it all. Does anyone have any advice? It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
You have to care for yourself first. I hope you're getting help for alcoholism and depression. If you aren't, please start with that. You can't give another person (or, for you, having kids, PERSONS) if you're not healthy enough yourself-- there just won't be the focus you need to help them.
I know it's tempting to prioritize the other person-- I struggle with that as well, and I neglect my health (this is a "do as I say, not as I do" situation)... but I can also see how my negligence of myself has made me a less effective caregiver.
I hope your husband agrees to get some additional help-- it sounds like it's needed. If your mom-in-law has a social worker, it might be a good idea to ask them for resources. Don't be afraid to explain the situation. Best of luck to you.