Bullying Support Group
Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways, but one thing is clear: no one deserves to be bullied. If you or someone you know is coping with bullying, this is the place to share your feelings and get...
I live in Europe.I'd been on my own rearing my 2 children since my husband died of cancer at 40.I'd worked hard and studied and my career had advanced.I was always known as a "grafter" or hard worker in our family.I have an older sister who is the exact opposite to me in that she is very affable with all but is dog lazy! Charming, sweet, and everyone jumps to her tune including me and most espically her husband.I have down the years taken the little snide comments when I buy new clothes or lose a bit of weight or if I have an opinion that differs and mostly I've parked them and moved on! But circumstances have changed and her treatment of me has escaleted +++.
2 years ago I met a lovely,decent and kind man and we married 14 weeks ago.On meeting him my sisters attitude to me markedly changed in that she was rude,obtrusive,hurtful,and dismissive of both of us.I was embarrassed that she would be like this but choose to ignore it as I couldn't justify why this would be.My friend told me it was because my life was now changing and was exciting and that they're all women in their 50's and may be stuck in a rut.Well for the 18 years I was widowed and on my own no one asked me how I was (I was 37 when widowed). Coming up to our wedding day I received a letter from my sister telling me how awful i am,what a bad person, selfish,etc etc and she said she wasn't coming to our wedding.I sent a card back telling her I loved her and if she changed her mind she was more than welcome. She or her family (all in their 30's) didnt come.I thought I'd gotten over the hurt but a few days ago I met her son and his girlfriend--both in their 30's. My nephews girlfriend whom i'd never met (he's with her approx 10 months) completely snubbed me when I pt out my hand and tried to engage in conversation.It made me feel absoultely awful and undignified. My husband said it was her ignorance and bad manners and not of my doing. I know this but what is really upsetting is that this stems from what my sister is saying about me to people who don't know me or who just know me through her.
I know i was financially secure in that i had a job that paid a decent salary but I needed my money for my childrens education, day to day living etc.I dont drink or smoke. My sister lost money through bad investments and smokes approx 60-80 cigarettes a day and when she puts on the poor mouth well i look at the ciggie in her hand and think theres money going up in smoke! Her hsuband has a business but he's also lazy and is laissez faire about it. How do i get rid of the negative feelings, the feeling of being bullied from a distance and the hurt that the girl did to me by such blatant bad manners.Thanks so much--all help appreciated.
2 years ago I met a lovely,decent and kind man and we married 14 weeks ago.On meeting him my sisters attitude to me markedly changed in that she was rude,obtrusive,hurtful,and dismissive of both of us.I was embarrassed that she would be like this but choose to ignore it as I couldn't justify why this would be.My friend told me it was because my life was now changing and was exciting and that they're all women in their 50's and may be stuck in a rut.Well for the 18 years I was widowed and on my own no one asked me how I was (I was 37 when widowed). Coming up to our wedding day I received a letter from my sister telling me how awful i am,what a bad person, selfish,etc etc and she said she wasn't coming to our wedding.I sent a card back telling her I loved her and if she changed her mind she was more than welcome. She or her family (all in their 30's) didnt come.I thought I'd gotten over the hurt but a few days ago I met her son and his girlfriend--both in their 30's. My nephews girlfriend whom i'd never met (he's with her approx 10 months) completely snubbed me when I pt out my hand and tried to engage in conversation.It made me feel absoultely awful and undignified. My husband said it was her ignorance and bad manners and not of my doing. I know this but what is really upsetting is that this stems from what my sister is saying about me to people who don't know me or who just know me through her.
I know i was financially secure in that i had a job that paid a decent salary but I needed my money for my childrens education, day to day living etc.I dont drink or smoke. My sister lost money through bad investments and smokes approx 60-80 cigarettes a day and when she puts on the poor mouth well i look at the ciggie in her hand and think theres money going up in smoke! Her hsuband has a business but he's also lazy and is laissez faire about it. How do i get rid of the negative feelings, the feeling of being bullied from a distance and the hurt that the girl did to me by such blatant bad manners.Thanks so much--all help appreciated.
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
As a grandmother in a huge extended blended family, complete with partners with children from other relationships, none married, and ex's marrying and adding step-relatives to the blend, we have found a common measure to help heal our hurt feelings without letting the offender know.
Your sister is jealous that at this time, 50's, you've found new love, hurrah for you!
Let it go, keep your comments positive, move on, find serenity in the fact that your door has always been open with positive ways, and that is the legacy you have. No matter what she says, does, or behaves, it does not change how you are. For those who are following her lead, eventually, they catch on to the antics, in one case, it took fifteen years, so don't expect it overnight.
Your husband is correct in stating that the person may not have learned how to deal with second marriages after the death of a partner, bad manners are common, and what you can do is change your view of the situation to help yourself.
You are not responsible for how your sister acts, however, you can be the stronger individual and continue to be true to your self.
Best wishes!
When someone makes a rude, offensive, or negative comment, it is their problem. Yes, our feelings are personal, however, the person is stating their perspective.
Hope this helps.