Yes, as absurd as it is the bullies grow up to be bullies. If this co worker of yours is at the same level as you are you will need to get more assertive with her. It's difficult but you basically have to not care what others think. Concentrate on your job and ignore the asses as much as you can. Even if it's your boss, you can politely say something. I worked for a major corporation where there were clicks all over the place. There were clicks with the people who had nicer clothes, better cars, partying clicks, people who work out clicks, people who kissed the bosses butt clicks. Sounds like high school,doesn't it? Set yourself apart from all clicks and just treat everyone how you would want to be treated and just do your job. I was a boss in the corporate world and I would have rather had someone who worked under me who cared more about their job than being popular. There will be times when you'll have to tell people to mind their own business . Your best revenge is to know your job and try to advance. Look at it this way, you don't have to listen to their problems.

Hi thanks for your comment. Nobody else internally applied for the Temporary supervisory position(that my bully moved up into) because we all know the mixed messages that are received from above and all the day to day complaints received from the workers below (I am a worker but I only point something out to my superiors if a patient's health is being compromised). Yes, I do take my job seriously and treat all patients as though I were treating my family. Yes, I have heard about being more assertive but never-the-less I just want recognition where and when recognition is due. Recently I have just been fortunate to help out in another section and the boss and a worker demanded that I come back and work for them....I will do everything in my own power to make that comment last but for some reason people change, take you for granted and couldn't care less if you stayed or left. I have never been brought up that way. I love making friends of any colour or race and I cherish my "old" friends. Is this being oversensitive? Damned if you do...damned if u dont situation. Funny... sometimes a boss will complain and complain about very minor-one off errors or about the apparent work you are not doing but when you cant stand it and leave they will hire 2 people in your place!!!

Unfortunately with the economy it makes for a prime "breeding ground" for these bullies.

I agree that our communication, etc. can help to fend off some bullying.

From what I've read, the targets of bullying are often the "high flyers". They work hard and they are successful. As a result the bully seems them as a threat. Although there are no absolutes, I think there are many times that the targets of a bully had no control over being chosen...other than being a good hard-working employee.

Bullying is a crime that leaves internal scars and robs you of trust and well-being. If a thief randomly chooses someone on the street, pulls a handgun, and robs the person...it's a crime...a random and cruel crime. Sometimes there are things one can do to avoid crime, and other times it's a matter of extremely bad luck mixed with a venomous person.

I like the idea of a bullying support group. I think it has generated a lot of discussion and is slowly getting some attention from organizations. To keep from being exterminated by these toxic people support is important.

Agreed Mamie1890 !! Are there any more people who want to get together and make bullying illegal? If changing the law is difficult at this point in time lets work towards it and get bullies MORE EASILY removed or transferred from that work or school environment. Come on mums and dads out there lets get this movement started.What about a group called "legislation against bullying?" I think years ago we all thought "oh its impossible to pass laws to stop men sexually harassing women in the workplace." But guess what it is now illegal...so I think we can pass bully laws in the juvenile court and adult court.

Well I had my encounter with Ms. Bully today. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeezus Martha......She changed the Doctor's paging system..............does not communicate the change..........It was the straw that broke the camels back. I confronted her with the lack of communication. Surprise surprise she comes back that I don't communicate. I ended the conversation. I was not going to engage. It would end up with no win situation. It was not worth my energy. I pull out my metal........On it says " The Healing Spirit of recovery" With image of a feather and on the back side its says " Great Spirit I need your strength and wisdom. May I walk in beauty." Amazingly it calmed my spirit. Like the negative energy disapated. What I am proud of is that I did not get sucked into her behaviors..........

I have observed a few things lately.
1. I am trying hard not to react to behaviors and interactions about and with the bully that cause me distress. Hearing her voice and seeing her act out sometimes causes me to feel bad. I am now, avoiding her when she these behaviors cause distress but also trying to tolerate them more to de-sensitize myself to these.
2. I know that although, for the moment, I do not feel provoked by her (i.e., presented with no win situations) that this is temporary and there will be other situations with which I have to deal.
3. I need to work on the shame piece...i.e., looking at what the root of the shame is for me. This is a common feeling that people who are targets of bullies often feel. And bullies often sense this and this is why we fall prey to their behaviors.
Any words of wisdom are appreciated

pocket tape recorder

Tape recording I would be violating the HIPPA law. I signed a contract respecting that law. I would be breaking patient confidentality along with my co workers. There will be other conversations beside Ms bullyon that tape. I would lose my job and plus legal issues. I have two and a half months before retirement. She can keep jawing on my bones. Oh that was a little graphic. I will stand my ground til than.

I've actually got a small usb recording device for 'strategic' recording if I go back (from amazon). It's not too bad and might help get people to believe what happened really happened.

unfortunately I'm like 2hearts in that I can't actually use it, professional responsibility, signed work contract, etc etc, sigh. But knowing I can feels nice! Of course, most mobile phones record sound too, could be used if someone is ranting at you.

you're so close to retirement, you can take it.

(if she'd done that with the paging system where I work she'd have to a lot to answer to, and not just to you!! God, I can't even think how much chaos that must have caused.)

Ok thanks, secret tape recordings can only be used for personal use to listen to immediately afterwards and write down EXACTLY what was said by you and the other party (ies) to keep your diary accurate.
For anyone at work or play I'm quite sure audio recordings can't be used as evidence as it is a privacy breech...a quick phone call to a lawyer will confirm this.
If you can get a witness to initial a brief account of an incident just after the see it happen I am thinking this makes it harder for your boss to change that witness's statement to protect the bully further down the track.
Does anybody reading this know of a lawyer(s) who would be willing to help me (us) being bullied both at school and work and assist our fight to get WORKPLACE harassment(bullying)
made illegal INTERNATIONALLY just like it has been made illegal for SEXUAL harassment (in the workplace)?

Please forward this most serious topic (in many cases life threatening as victims suicide) to that lawyer(s). I am sure that he/she will reap many rewards in return for the cases they will fight and win once we get the legislation in place.

Also could people forward this topic to people (mums and dads or relatives & friends) they know who are fighting bullying issues (because the school or workplace did nothing to prevent the bullying from continuing) for sons or daughters they have lost through suicide please?

Lawyers have studied hard to get where they are todaylets engage them to help us get workplace harassment outlawed so that we too can enjoy coming to work!!!

Well after reading all of this I see I am right bullying never ends and it does not get better. WE will always have these problems.

I have been through this too ,it si stressful. Document things objectively and keep a journal for yourself, so you can take care of yourself.

There is "The Healthy Workplace Bill". I sure hope it does well now that bullying is finally getting some attention ! . It's been around since (i believe) 2003. We ALL need to support it for sure !

Ok, I have done some searching and I did find this: "Workplace Bullying Legislation in New York State"
I have just joined up to this site:
http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/group/bullyonline/message/84949
and check out this video on Healthy Workplace bill
http://www.healthyworkplacebill.org/states/ny/newyork.php

I just have to work out how to get this bill introduced into Australia and other countries. The more countries that have this bill the stronger we will be against bullies.
Any thought on getting a global Healthy Workplace bill passed?