You are experiencing a specific process that can take time for your body and mind to heal from. I have had to listen to an audiobook on abandonment, over and over, to keep going during my situation. This site is run by the author. This page explains what stages you are going through. Be patient. It will get better. But it can take a long time. Months.

http://www.abandonment.net/swirl-the-five-stages-of-abandonment

Hugs, my friend. What you are feeling is very normal. You are just trying to make sense of it all. But at times there is nothing we can do but take it one day at a time. The one person that needs all the love and attention now is you. You need to sit back and do what you can when you can. I had to push my self to just get out of bed. It will take a lot of hard work but you can do it. Please be gentle with yourself. Learn to love being alone and love yourself. Get that self confidence back. I had no self esteem, no confidence, nothing. It took years of hard work to get them back.

Took me a year to start feeling better and 2 to start feeling normal...it's been 3 years now (24 yrs together) and with strict no contact I can say I feel a million percent better. Love my time to myself finally and am in no hurry to have anyone mess that up lol. It WILL get better! One day at a time and you'll detach...stay NO CONTACT!! My mistake I waited too long to implement no contact but when I decided it wasn't helping communicating with her and learned it was keeping me stuck I cut her off completely. Over 2 years now and it's the only way to MOVE ON

Everyone else hit it on the head. I would add, that you should be proud of yourself, of your strength. Find something, one thing to make you smile and hold on to that.

Thanks everyone today was extremely rough my friend called me as I was laying in bed just feeling beat down and pretty much told me i was going our for pizza with her. no choice in the matter. Which was just what I needed. she then took me to get a new bed set it felt good. I'm blessed with great friends and family

Don't worry it does her easier. I went through this 2 weeks back.
The time is now. Discover your self. The way I see it it is there loss not ours.

My thought are with youkeep smiling

I feel your pain it's been 2 months for me and he has a ton of my stuff at his place. It's so hard but on good days I meditate, maybe go on a walk stuff that ultimately makes me happy bc we can't control other people but we can control ourselves. If we worry it will stress us more and really we are hurting ourselves it's a new concept that I habe been focusing on. Hang in there you will have answers it's just not the right time.

Thank you for the link Mutation. I wish I would have had that at the beginning of the process. (I'm in RAGE now).

The part that really struck me on that site was the 'profile of an abandoner' page. From her ego trip, heightened self-importance, lack of guilt, denial and blaming me she fits this description to a t.

It's not going to change anything about her or how I feel about her but it at least gives me an answer the the 'how could she be such a cold hearted b?' question I've had bouncing around my head.