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Words - when to say them and why

CMondo
CMondo
For some people saying the words "I love you" is close to impossible. They cannot say it because it means so much to them.

Others have no problem saying them because they believe that, at that moment, they love that person. The problem is that after the moment has passed, they already said they love him/her but something changed.

I heard once that there are many types of love and you can love two people (I am talking about passionate love here) and still be ok. Like a guy who loves his wife and also loves his lover.

How can this be?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Actions mean a lot more than the words. Do they do things to SHOW you that they care? Something as simple as unloading the dishwasher once in a while may help let someone know you care about them.

Clearly, when someone is going out all night and screwing other people, they aren't showing you they love you.
BirkenstockBabe
BirkenstockBabe
Hmmmm....So the sender is not responsible at all? Is the couple responsible for establishing a shared meaning, i.e. what does it mean when we say this to each other?
BirkenstockBabe
BirkenstockBabe
20?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Absolutely the sender is partly responsible. If you tell someone "I love you" and you don't really mean it, you're already establishing deceit in the relationship.
BirkenstockBabe
BirkenstockBabe
Yes, actions show the truth, words are just....words. I too long believed my STBX's words instead of his actions.
BirkenstockBabe
BirkenstockBabe
My STBX thought he was telling me he loved me by complimenting my sexual performance in our marriage when he spoke to me the other day....do you think some people THINK that they really do love someone, but just really don't know what love is?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I made no mention of responsibility.

I just said the receiver attaches the meaning.

Like if I said "Birk, you stink." I would assume you would know I was kidding. But that assumption could be entirely incorrect.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yah Birk, I think plenty of people have no idea what love is, and will spend the rest of their lives figuring it out.

And if I respond to you one more time I might as well just dump my whole journal out here! LOL!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Like when your spouse doesn't have a present under the tree for you on Christmas morning but goes out and buys one for her new piece of ass before she gets you anything? Actions.
BirkenstockBabe
BirkenstockBabe
Yes! Or when he spends $1000 for a new scooter while your power gets shut off! ; )
BirkenstockBabe
BirkenstockBabe
Tom....30's coming....
BirkenstockBabe
BirkenstockBabe
Almost there....
BirkenstockBabe
BirkenstockBabe
Thirty!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dirty thirty! LOL
deleted_user
deleted_user
We need more words in the American English language. Infatuation seems so stalkery. Enchanted... that's nice. Someone recently told me they "cared" for me. It felt like, "I almost love you, ... um.... but not really." Like orange soda instead of orange juice.

My STBXH said he loved me the the time before last we spoke on the phone. I guess what he really meant was, "I love you, but I can't manipulate you or deceive you anymore without being accountable for my actions, so I can't have a lasting relationship with you." How about you're a huge fucking douche bag!