No. A husband's job is to allow his wife to be fully free. If she chooses to walk away, then an honorable man will release her. Try to let that sink in. You might be her husband for a few more months but you do not own her like a piece of property.

Get your mind off it. It's summer. It's the weekend. Go hang with a friend.

I have never thought as my wife as a piece of property which is why I always gave her, her freedom. Whenever she wanted to go to the movies with her friends I never said no,,, when she wanted to go bar hopping with friends while I worked overnights on a 12 hour shift I never said no!. And when she wanted to go to a concert 6 hours away with her friends I I never said no! She had more than enough liberties with me and I provided for my family first before putting my needs first and for her to treat me like shit, you really think that's alright?

I wish this was easier for you Rudy. You seem to be surprised and seriously knocked off kilter by the things she's doing or stuff you find out she's doing. It's hard to combat that when you feel you don't really know what the person you once loved is really capable of.

My only advice is to think of everything that can happen and expect it. This may allow for no surprises going forward. You think the best of her until she fails you yet again. Then something new happens and you are crushed all over again. We are all going through something similar, so you aren't alone. It's just the degree and surprise of it all that is different.

She showed you who she is....believe her.

This just happened to me, I hadn't expected what happened to have happened yet it happened anyway! Had I been prepared, might have been able to roll with it easier. There is NEVER any way to prepare for everything.... but perhaps bring her down off a pedastal or think differently of who you believed her to be...only then may all this shock cease some.

I do think you need to back up, slow down and breathe. What will a P.I. do for you in the long run but prolong the hurt and suffering. Do you really think anything you find out is going to help or hurt YOU? When you find out stuff, what will you do with it? Then remember you need to live with that knowledge forever. Think about YOU first.... not about catching her in more awful lies and tales.

Unless there is a major custody battle or trillions of dollars at stake in a divorce, then hell my friend.... you may need to walk away calmly -- for your own safety and sanity.

Peace. It WILL get better.... it will.

Rudy, I truly feel for what you're going though I have had some BAD moments struggling loss & feelings of anger and betrayal.

What I'm hearing between this and your other posts is maybe an insecurity that may in fact be causing her to fear you and your possesiveness.

IS there a reason for her to seek a restraining order??? Because it doesn't sound to me like you're going to leave her be and you're approaching stalker level.

Is there a divorce in the works??? If she's cheating and/or doesn't want to be bothered, you have to let her go, get an attorney and proceed with getting your affairs in order.

no, it is not alright. she will have to do one hell of a dance to convince the next man to commit to her. but, lots of women can spin the tale of woe like an art form. they can justify every time that they bailed out on men who they committed themselves to.

Whether what's she's doing is right or wrong is a subjective moral judgement call.

As long as she's not breaking the law, she's free to do whatever she wants. And you're free to divorce her if you don't share the same values.

What IS against the law is harrassment and stalking, and I would hate to see you give her ammunition to use against you.

you are going to like being single. it is a lot easier.

Omg Faithful. Lol

OK, being single is a lot better than being with the wrong person.

Being with the RIGHT person is pretty nice too.

it really is, NA. it's a piece of cake once a person gets used to it. after all, if we can't run our lives by ourselves, how are we going to be able to be good at it when we add lots of complexity that a live-in relationship has?

Well, its not easier for me TODAY. Some days it does seem simpler.

I'm sorry if I seem stalker-ish or what not, but as far as the private investigator goes, I want to protect myself by going to court with evidence of her unfaithfulness when we are still legally married, I don't want the judge to see her as a woman who was abused or have pity on her and screw me over. I want the judge to she her for the snake she is!

Rudy, the courts have heard all this before. They're very familiar with the mud slinging.

IMO its a waste of energy. Do what you have to do, but I would see a counselor to help you deal emotionally a bit.

private investigators cost a lot of money. i'm sure not if claiming adultery is even going to score you any points in court. here in ohio, i think that it is perfectly legal. lots of people line up their next person without leaving first.

get ready for court with your paperwork. remember, she is liable for 50% of all debt during the marriage and gets 50% of all the money that has been saved as well as 50% of the property.

So my stbx just spitefully texted me she's dating someone.

change your phone number. then go visit a friend. pity the poor slob who is out spending money on her.