well.. next time around,
i'd rather be with someone a bit more like me with similar goals.
I think that's why people split allot.. They didn't check that the person they were getting into the vehicle of love with wanted to go down he same road as them.

I *think* i've decided to see this year through and start looking when I'm ready..

single life is pretty good actually... except for the no sex part .

I agree with BlueJay in that I don't think my ex and I had the same expectations of the marriage to begin with. I was very clear about wanting the home and family. I was not a party girl. He wanted other things and this caused resentments for us both.

hmmmm, interesting question. I only wish I had been a half as picky as I turned out in my old age when I was choosing the first time. He lies? Oh, they're just little white lies.... He is secretive? Oh, that's just his upbringing... He's cold-hearted and unaffectionate? Oh, I can change that....

Nope, this second time around, I ain't making allowances for ANY poor behavior...

it appears to me sometimes, that the older we get, the more we like things the way they are, and we'd rather not have someone rock our very calm boat
set in our ways

cant teach a dog new tricks

I don't know, but it seems there's some truth to those cliches

Do you really think that someone who likes to go out and explore the world, enjoying nature, hiking trails and climbing mountains, would be happy long term with a stay-at-home bookworm that didn't like to leave the house?

Those two could make the relationship work for a while, but I think that eventually one person would grow resentful of the other and want to seek out someone who was more like themselves.

Yes, the two people I described could make their marriage work if they were both very independent people that preferred living their lives in solitude only coming together occasionally for interaction. It would be rather difficult to make such a good match and probably easier to for someone to find themselves a partner with more in common.

If a person rejects another potential partner because they do not have the desired similarities, it should not be taken as disregard for others. That person simply knows what they need in life and has chosen not to settle for something that will potentially cause them strife later.

Being in your 30s, you are in your prime for finding a partner. I hear that dating in the 40s and 50s is quite disappointing. Good luck to you.

exactly

I agree with reply#1

except the sex part....

;)

In my case, as I said, I was very clear about my desires and expectations for my life. I was honest. HE wanted to get into my pants so badly he was willing to lie to himself and me, buy me a ring, a house and a car, and then torture us both because he was later disatisfied and wanted someone who swung from the chandeliers and partied.

Ilm fortunately wiser now, and look beyond the words to actions and behavior.

To reply#9:

Just because someone is single I don't believe there should be no sex... unless the person is very religious or something...

that's the joy of being single, not that I go looking for it but if it happens... big deal.. live a little...

I tell that I want no commitments fromm the door, that way no one gets hurt...

That way they can decide to do the bootycall or not to....

I have turned a few down myself.....

No I am not a douchebag!

;)

Is there anything in between a bootycall and serious lockdown commitment??? That's kind of what I'm looking for.

Ummmmm...

I think thats called a steady BC..

stay away from multiple BC's

Causes to much drama... and can be very exhausting...