*nod nod*

I understand everything you're saying... I fear i'll never be able to fully give of myself, always keeping some part of my heart back so at least it won't get totally demolished when they decide no more. Is it even worth it if I'm going to do that?

meh... *goes to get the G&T*

That's why they have FWB.

I think it is a natural reaction to being hurt and it is hard to deal with and I totally understand the thought process. I dont ever want to experience the pain I felt the last 4 years that I have, but the one thing that I take from it all is if I do put my heart out there again, I will truly know what happiness will feel like. I will embrace the good times a lot more than I did in the past and I will live more in the moment. There are no guarantees in this life and since this is the circumstances of my life, my thinking is that I can live it or shrivel up and get run over by it. The choice is mine and it can be as scary as I want to make it.

thebanner, why must you be a smartass. I am not a FWB, person.

My heart has been broken several times. I have my trust issues and they tend to become more evident the more I get to know a person, or they get to know me. Do I give up on love? Never. I have too much love in my heart. I know it sounds cliche, or a bit too optimistic but I will not give up. I know that there is a lid to this old pot...

I take the risk, because without risk, there is no reward. Like an old lotto commercial, you have to be "in it" to win "it"

I wish you good luck, and hopefully, one day you will be open to try again *hugs*

I feel the same way. We try to protect ourselves from being hurt again but maybe we should continue trying. I wish I had the answers.

Banner, get off this post if you can't be supportive and give good feedback. No one needs your smart ass remarks.

L - Here is how I look at it: do I want to be lonely? Am I okay with not making any deep connections with a man? Keeping it completely superficial and surface? I realize we've all been hurt but should you really spend the rest of your life alone isolating your heart from love because of the hurt you suffered? It is a personal choice I realize and one that I have chosen to make, for better or worse.

That's pretty much how I feel about it! Why bother & what's the point?

llmt, are you sure that your aren't me? But even the few times I've tried, my trust issues and insecurities get in the way. it will never happen for me. The sooner i accept it in my head, the sooner I can get on with my life.

FWB probably could work well for me.. no commitments, but does it ruin the friendship? And you know, come to think of it, I would probably have trust issues with that also.

Right now is not the time to be worrying about future relationships. Take care of yourself first. When and if you are ready, you will know...but to think about it now will do you no good. Take care of yourself and find that inner-peace first...

I have already decided I may never get married. That's okay. I can't have the man I love, so I'll let him go, but that doesn't mean I want anyone else. There's not much of me left to give anyway.

but, hearts don't really break!

they only get wounded.

wounds heal with time and treatment.

when we realize that our hearts are truly unbreakable, that frees us up to allow our love out again in many directions - appropriately.

your heart is still mending, Limit. when the time is right, you will experience a new Spring in your life and it will be wondrous!

i don't know.. I kind of feel the opposite way. I'd rather have my heart stomped on by someone else for a change, than to keep enduring he dull echoing emptiness from the last one. i figure someone new can't do any worse than SHE did.

I hear ya. Just happened to me this week too. Again put myself out there...labor day weekend. I've got some extra pounds on me, can't be hidden, it is what it is...hence limits my possibilities immediately. But met this guy, who had this immediate attraction to me. I cautiously approached this, but it seemed that we enjoyed so many things together. I didn't know where this would go, so carefully I did one day at a time with him. It's been 6 weeks, we've spent our weekends together since meeting, Ive met some of his closest friends, we planned to do a long weekend (first time) out of town this weekend. Last Saturday night we were out and 'teasing' each other about 'friends'...the FWB...JOKINGLY because of being in a situation with friends/not couples. When within a day or two decided that I really didn't know him well enough to know if he was teasing or not. So I wanted some conversation about this...prior to going away with him; though he still kept planning on going away with me (this was Wednesday night we were going to be leaving Thursday at noon). When I said I wasn't going away without this discussion....he said that he wanted to be friends with me, enjoyed all our time together, but he had VALUES about "fitness". AFTER 6 WEEKS, STILL PLANNING TO GO OUT OF TOWN WITH ME, HIS VALUES DICTATE I'M NOT IN HIS ALLIGNMENT?!? I said I didn't like being used like that....he said he wasn't using me. WHAT!?!? This is your VALUE? It seemed like he was deceiving not only himself, but especially meor really just bottom lineusing me. Why are people like this? I've tried to stay open, but am already guarded; I'm so tired of being hurt....and I thought this guy seemed honest. How can you ever believe someone? Deeply hurt again....who can you trust? I hate this kind of stuff; how mean.

@ #14 that guy sounds like a total fricken douche! I am sorry that he did that shit to you, it is like he had something over you, WTF! He was probably enjoying the attention you were giving him and he felt like he was in control but when you stepped up and doing the adult thing, he turned tail and ran like the chicken shit he is and then to add insult to the injury and made the comment about fitness or value or whatever it just shows what a selfish mf he is!! I am sick and tired of hearing about selfish people, if he had all this shit in his mind to begin with then don't even start down the path, what a f-ing dick! Sorry just needed to get that out there!