Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I ended up having to talk with my wife today because she left a message on my phone about something to deal with the dog. We have also emailed today. Finally called her when I was finished at the house to tell her that I had fed the dogs and that I had left some frontline on the kitchen counter for her to put on the dogs after she gives one of them a bath.
We started talking and she basically said that she plans to head for divorce in November, but I began to talk with her about the marriage. She agreed with me on some things and then she said she wished that I would move on. I told her that we made a solem vowel in front of God and breaking that vowel shouldn't be taken so lightly. She said that she agreed with that but she isn't ready to start working on things and it might take a while before she is ready to try anything. I told her we should give it our best effort and if it doesn't work we at least tried. She said not now but maybe later on.
Why am I still hanging around and trying to work on things. Most guys would have been running for the hills. Everytime I talk to her I break down and try to get her to work on things. I am fine until I talk with her and then I get weak again. I just don't understand why I am like that. I just can't seem to flip the switch that I use to have to cut off my emotions.
So now I am back in limbo wondering if there is a slight chance that we could work on things. Then that leaves me wondering why she wants this time to figure out if she wants to work on things. That then leads to the thought on what the heck did I do that was so wrong.
The sad thing is that our relationship was always something that could have been meanded easily. Marriage counseling would have done wonders for it.
Anyone have any thoughts on this?
We started talking and she basically said that she plans to head for divorce in November, but I began to talk with her about the marriage. She agreed with me on some things and then she said she wished that I would move on. I told her that we made a solem vowel in front of God and breaking that vowel shouldn't be taken so lightly. She said that she agreed with that but she isn't ready to start working on things and it might take a while before she is ready to try anything. I told her we should give it our best effort and if it doesn't work we at least tried. She said not now but maybe later on.
Why am I still hanging around and trying to work on things. Most guys would have been running for the hills. Everytime I talk to her I break down and try to get her to work on things. I am fine until I talk with her and then I get weak again. I just don't understand why I am like that. I just can't seem to flip the switch that I use to have to cut off my emotions.
So now I am back in limbo wondering if there is a slight chance that we could work on things. Then that leaves me wondering why she wants this time to figure out if she wants to work on things. That then leads to the thought on what the heck did I do that was so wrong.
The sad thing is that our relationship was always something that could have been meanded easily. Marriage counseling would have done wonders for it.
Anyone have any thoughts on this?
deleted_user
I know how you feel. I'm the same way when I see my husband right now. I don't want to see him right now as it hurts too much. I do keep in touch with email but only if I have to. Near the end of my marriage my husband told me he would think about things and maybe he would change his mind, but it didn't happen. I felt like I was being strung along. I'm starting to realized that he was not committed enough to work things out and at least I was.
deleted_user
Why is she holding off? I just don't get that? Maybe later? WTF? What is she waiting for????
deleted_user
Ah, yeah, the holding off is total BS. My ex-girlfriend tried that on me, "I'm just not ready for us right now, but maybe one day." No, sorry, I am not someone's backup plan.
deleted_user
Honestly Heave, it sounds like she's in another relationship. She wants you to move on so she doesn't feel as guilty. You're hanging on because you still love her. You just have to get to a point where you don't care about her anymore. And that takes time. Sometimes a whole lot of time. Not talking to her and concentrating on your own life will help. (((Hugs)))
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