I know this first hand, I stayed so did she....finances......If I am paying all, then hell would freeze over before I left, especially if she started the process and she wants out...then she can go......

If she is unwilling to move out and is being uncooperative, it sounds like you need to explore legal options. You may not want to set a precedent in leaving the house.

Sorry it's going down this road.

BTW it was hard as hell.......

Get yourself a lawyer. My ex offered to move but, I wouldn't have been able to afford that giant empty house. I told him that I would move. It was six months before I was able to move. I bought a house close to my family and when the house sold, we split the equity but, I let him have the escrow money. It was fair.

It's the law rman.

You'll have to provide support for her. And as far as selling the house eventually she'll have to, unless she can afford to buy you out, but that can take years. It would be better if she could be shown all the finances and from that come to the conclusion that there isn't enough to support two house holds.

Sometimes people let emotions rule over logic, but math counts and the banks and mortgage companies don't care what she wants, they'll demand their house note and debts be paid.

Has she been a stay at home mom? If so it's the right thing to do to support her, at least until she can get a job and become self sufficient, because presumably it was a mutually agreed upon arrangement and it wouldn't be right to her to cut her off completely.

Lawyer up NOW! Rman you have rights.... and the laws vary from state to state. Let him/her advise you!

Do not leave.... do not pass go.... in some states abandonment is still "fault". File for a separation agreement....

Keep posting... you're not alone!!!

Living together must be really hard. I couldn't imagine it. Too much pain. Like Bernie said, you may need to explore legal options. I would not leave the house right now though unless an attorney advises otherwise. Good luck!

Perhaps, before going the lawyer route you could explore mediation. Your ex may be told in no uncertain terms that she has to be reasonable in the process. It could be a cheaper alternative. I don't believe there are kids involved in your case and laws are different all over. If you haven't been married too long she might not be entitled to much at all.

You need to talk to an attorney so you can find out what your rights are.

Good luck and big hugs to you. Sounds like she is going to be difficult.

A judge could order the house to go on the market. Also, she could buy you out of the house. If you don't have the cash, you can trade her 401K's etc for her half of the equity.

Your profile said you are in your 30's so I'm assuming she is too. She is going to have to get a job. I'm in my 50's and haven't worked in 26 years and I have to get a job. I'll get maintenance for good after a 30+ year marriage but I doubt your wife will get it for more than a few years.

Don't leave without talking to an attorney. It's considered abandonment in many states.

I'm living with my STBX currently as well, for about six more weeks. It is difficult at times, but at other times you wouldn't know anything was wrong.

If she is truly making you miserable, but you can't leave or make her leave, can you at least move into a different room, or have her do so?

You may just have to stick it out for a while. My W and I are staying in the same house for our kids to end of school year and when lease runs up. Sometimes it is difficult but I think we'll be able to get through it, especially since I am basically at the point where I am content to just let it go and move on.

Best of luck, hope you come up with a solution.

Bernie makes a valid point. Get legal advice and make certain that if you leave that you are not giving up any of your rights. (Our mediator/attorneys even suggested that we get signed/ witnessed "permission" if we went away for a week to avoid any problems). It took us 5 months in the same house before everything was complete and I moved. Please prepare yourself...the actual separation may cause you to enter a whole new level of grief. Everyone is different...just saying that for me, it felt far worse when the false hope was gone. I hope this is not the case for you and that things improve.

I would disagree with SFY's assertation that 'you have to provide support'. The real answer to this is 'it depends'. That is why a legal opinion is really necessary. There are a ton of factors that could determine the outcome of any settlement. I would start to document all financial matters and try to get some form of separation agreement established. Best of luck Rman

We have 2 children, which makes the situation even harder. I just can't afford to move out, nor should I have to move out. I'll sell the home, but she doesn't want to leave. It is really a messed up situation.

I would comment on this because I have been through it. But I dont know what I am talking about according to some people.