My ex and I used to do exactly what u described; dosomething now, to fix the problem before it gets worse, Rman. If u love ur wife, then make up with her. Any of the advice given above will do great! Good luck, and hope things get better!

Oh Chi, that's so right,, sometimes, especially if people are avoiding one another or have gone silent with one another, orchestrating fights is a way of being contactful...especially if there is still lots of emotion between them.

Well that's pretty stupid if you ask me. Why not just say, "hello?"

RDude, what is your avatar?

Rman - flat out question.

Do you WANT to have a relationship with your wife, or do you want to have the ability to be civil to each other for the "sake of the children"?

I know rman, right?

Bj asked a good and pertinent question. We cannot sleuth out the answer. You're the only one who can.

And either your answer is in the affirmative or you start setting money aside, find an apartment that is suitable and nearby so you are close to the girls & Lily. See a lawyer. Let your wife start learning to live without her punching bag. People do it everyday. I'm pretty sure you're capable of doing it too. Choose misery or choose a modicum of happiness. You have the power! (MOTU reference free of charge. ;-P)

In all reality my ex wife has been very cordial with me of late. Almost too nice. And it's making me uneasy.

SD, didn't your ex just kick the OM out? Maybe she's looking for a sub, you know?

There's going to be some tension when dealing with exes in most cases. I know mine is hell to deal with. We still fight after 3 years of being apart. I do not contact her for anything other than to talk to our son or talk to her about him. I tried being friendly and we did each other favors for a little while. But, eventually it turned into "if you don't do what I want, I'm not going to be nice to you anymore." If you can't get along with someone, keep the contact to a minimum and move on.

She's on the outs with him again Bella (3rd time now that he's packed up and left) and every time this happens she's overly nice with me. I appreciate her cordiality (amicability for the sake of our son is all I ask for) but at the same time I am not swayed by it at all. She get's the same reaction out of me now whether she's being nasty or sweet. And that reaction is unemotional. But since I've become teflon to her anger, when she IS nice like this it is a little unnerving.

Or just maybe she's finally realizing that I am indifferent to what she does with her life outside of anything that involves our son. Time will tell.

Some things are just f***ed up regardless of our strategy, second guessing or hindsight. It's like mixing two combustible materials together, too much water under the bridge....ya gotta just let it go and go forward. If you are ever ready, RMan, and Dale, there are women out there who will compliment your nature and lift you up and you her. Until it happens....big hugs...fighting sucks.