Have a conversation where you're not trying to ask the other person to do anything.

Good morning, Bay Bay.

Sounds like a power struggle to me. No pun intended.

You've gotta step back and look at who 'enjoys' the arguing. If you truly don't, try to avoid the petty crap you know she'll start on. Don't become a doormat ( *uses Mr.Clean Magic Eraser to remove 'Welcome' sign from belly* ). But maybe the best defense is a little avoidance.

First off.......thank you for changing your avi......
Secondly.... I don't focking know but it sucks.......

When there is no dignity and respect, then your next step is to make a change or keep perpetuating the problem...oh yeah...don't forget the real victims.....the children.

I can give you ANOTHER ugly glimpse from the "other side"...meaning from the stand of witnessing this through a peson growing up with this situation. It doesn't get beter, it gets uglier.

Change.

This is exactly how me and my STBX were. I think resentment and non-forgiveness build up in a relationship and it just ends up that way sometimes. Of course I am going on pure speculation since the bitch wont tell me anything.

as youre passing through a room, say one short nice thing to interrupt the pattern, I dont know what exactly but it needs to be genuine.

"dinner was great by the way"

or

something like that.

As long as you keep moving, it cant turn into a conversation, so no fight can ensue (hopefully she doesnt chase you down the hall spouting some crap). if you do that about 127 times, she might soften a wee bit and start saying something nice to you while she is passing through.

That makes it a little less easy to go straight to the nasty stuff.

I don't know Rman if you know ever conversations will go that way why did you ask? I mean you could have just as easily paid it online, working or not. Is she most aggravated when you ask her to do something? When the fight starts I would just say "I don't want to fight with you" in a non-hostile manner. It works for me when I just really don't want to fight.

Oh, Rman, I feel for you! I never argued with my husband, after all - he was always right!. Maybe a good argument would have been cathartic.

Constant arguing is destructive. It's a lack of community and a need to one-up the other person. Without a hell of a lot of therapy by two committed people, this won't change.

I'm sorry that you have gone through this.

Lynne

there is a saying. when something is no longer useful to u cut it off (which is probably not to case) but true anyway have a couple of candle light dinners for a while see if that rekindles things between u 2

I did the one nice word thing with mine, it just started another fight with her.... I would say, "you sure look nice today" What the fuck do you mean by that smart ass comment?, Nothing, I just wanted to say how nice you look today" Hell, I haven't even finished putting on my makeup today and you are making comments like that, go fuck off! Okay then DEAR, you look like shit! stomps off to our own rooms.

Oh and don't ever let her trap you with the does these jeans make my ass look fat thingy, "NO, it is your fat ass that makes your ass look big....." oh the memories, gotta love it.

Rman, it is not about the little fights at this stage, it is about the big picture, she is not happy which makes you not happy, the littlest thing is going to set off the fights.... how do you work on it from here, you can't alone, you need couples counseling... if she is not willing, then you need to get away from there, give some space, take your kids for a camping weekend, get out go to the park for the day, leave her ass behind to brood... because at this point, nothing is going to be right....

and if the electric needs paid, just do it... it is really not worth you getting a headache over, leave the little stuff behind.

((huggin RDude and MaxiDale))

Damn dude..... i cry as i read this... it reminds me of how me and my ex were right before it ended..... Fuck, i wish the best for you man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5-yKhDd64s

it takes two to create drama.

but, if one refuses, then, no drama can exist except within the party who is miserable. when isolated long enough, a miserable, lonely person will come around.

be the non-participant. it is the only way to "win."

But don't become a rug,,, be you, make a stand, fuck the rest.