People grow apart. Some are tired of the same old thing.

Some of that, all of that.

Mine is due to the fact that I was an idiot for those 20 some years. I completely broke down, and tried to work on it, but she has hit the point of no return, I did too much damage, and she will not forgive, nor forget. I initiated it this time, as I know we cannot go back. She told me something a long time ago, which we both glossed over. She said, "Once you're out, you're out". And I have been out even through this time of reconciliation.

Even though I was the first offender, if you can't get back to having passion for someone, what is the point?

I accept what is mine in this, and choose to move forward to someone I can be completely honest with, and share every dark secret.

Grass looks greener over there. But than you find it is not. I think after 20 years one or both start to take things for granted and wake up one day and find they are not happy and start looking outside for that happiness. There are tons of folks out there who are just waiting to help your wife or husband through thier unhappy time. Once that new person comes in....well it is game on. If people would just put the time into thier 20 year marriage that they put into thier new "friend" it would be so much easier. But like a school kid you can't tell them that. So why does it end....because one or both parties wanted it to.

Life stress, emotional and physical detachment, infidelity, routine - many factors....

People forget to work on their relationship!

I don't fall for that people grow apart bull.... Yes, people change but the people in reationships can or can not change. You look at all the arranged marriages. why do so many of them work? Yes, I know their are failures. But the expectations are to make it work. Now adays I think divorce and Man-O-Pause yes, Women-o-pause gets in the way. I think more men decide to sow the wild oats when they are in their 50's. Get a convertible, big boat, fast car. They want their one last kick at the cat. So to speak. I don't see many men over 50 here. Why.??. but i do see more women over 50.
Ok, yeah, I know I'm going to take some bashing over this. But Divorce is just a cop out. If there is actual abuse or drug addition then that is a problem but what family doesn't have problems. We are all disfunctional in a way. Maybe being disfunctional is being normal.

2ndstrike who would want to bash? You are speaking the truth. Growing apart is bull! If you grew apart...than grow back together. But folks do think it is easier to just start over fresh. Wrong! You are correct every family has issues....but the majority of those issues can be worked through. So bashing you??? I'll pat you on the back for speaking the truth and calling it like it is. Great Job!

Thanks your making me cry. Cause I'm finding my voice. I thank this group for it.

Then you 2 are dumb asses. People do grow apart. Like TD66 said " if you can't get back to having passion for someone, what is the point? " , " but she has hit the point of no return ". it happen in my marriage.

In my case, I guess I had blinders on. I was happy and loved him with everything I had for over 40 years. He was my best friend, we were getting ready to retire--when one day he said was unhappy, filed, and that was it. Of course, his unhappiness was all my fault. I moved away, he continued to call several times daily for the next two years, I continued to hope--but it was tearing me up--so I gave up hope and began 'no contact.' He is doing all the things 2ndstrike mentioned. His latest woman friend is his daughter's age.

I will always wish things were different, but I'm doing ok now. And, actually enjoying life again.

Love just isn't sex. passion comes from oneself.

GSCH..wow calling people a dumb ass because they do not agree with you...great job. I have always found it best to attack those that do not buy into what I think. Thus far it has worked out like butt, but I'm holding out hope that will turn around for me soon. As for losing passion...well you can lose your car keys or spare change...but if you lose your passion it is because YOU let that happen and as I see it that is not losing anything....that is giving it or throwing it away. But hey that is just the thoughts of a self proclaimed dumb ass, so I would not give it much thought.

Love it.. My passion is to get me right and be the best person I can be. But I have to be honest I want to see him squirm.

Unless you have experienced "growing apart," I think it is hard for you to understand it. The terminology sounds vague like a bunch of BS.

But people do change, develop new interests, mature over time. Unfortunately, it isn't just as simple as growing back together.

It's the same as seeing an old high school friend now and thinking you have absolutely nothing in common, and wondering how you were ever friends back then.

I think to believe you can overlook that problem, or to think you should just tolerate abuse or other serious problems regardless of the emotional/mental impact on you is naive.

I agree that some people give up on marriage too easily. But there are also times when people stay in a marriage far too long until it does emotional damage to them.

hw WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO COME OUT OF YOUR FANTASY WORLD. i READ YOUR PROFILE SHE IS NOT COMING BACK. She dont love you anymore. She grew apart from you.