Seeing him do the things now that he wouldn't do while we were married--that he can find a way to do them now that we are apart, but not when we were together. That hurts.

You know what stings? The realization that somewhere in my warped mind, I thought it was a good idea to pay for my 35 year old boyfriend to have a cell phone. For years. Ummm... WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG with me? That's what stings me now. Perspective. I have a love/hate relationship with it these days.

My best friend is considering suicide.

- him throwing away my sexual assault pin that i got after jumping out of a plane for operation freefall.
- him telling me on his own accord that he was going to get help, determined to do it, was going to call his health insurance and get info for how he could have a therapist out on the road - he told me all this face to face - and then 3 weeks later i asked him how it was progressing along and he said to me "well, i see how much therapy helped you - you are still f-ed up so i have decided not to go". meaning the extensive therapy i went to after i started coping with my rapes/molestation. it was a low blow.

its sad to me that it was more terrifying for him to look inside of himself and get help for his issues than for our marriage to dissolve.

xoxo

10 minutes after midnight on New Years Day, my ex husband texted me "Happy New Years" It really pissed me off. I never responded back to it but I was like how dare he. After all he put me through, and all the pain and the hurt he caused me, does he think he can just randomly text me? I hope he chokes on his damned phone. It angered me because I feel like he has no right to reach out to me in any way other than when it comes to the kids.

My ex husband just started dating a former co-worker of mine and it kills me inside. I was the one who left him, and I wanted the divorce, but it still hurts to see him move on.
I think what make it hurt the most is that in my mind I am imagining him turning into the man I always wished me would be, but with her instead of me. He cheated on my and emotionally abused me, but what if he turns around for her and he wouldn't for me? That's what hurts...

what hurts the most for me is how much my ex has changed, in just 6 weeks. How he has completely become someone else to please his new girlfriend. How since this new girl came along, that he refuses to speak to me, and acts like I don't exist. How easy it is for him to move on, and all the hurtful things he has said to me since he got with her, including the fact that he was only with me because he didn't think he could do any better, until he met her.

In this entire process...the thing that has and will continue to hurt me the most is that he dismisses and invalidates the love we once had by claiming he never loved me and married me under false pretenses. Which he now claims were made due to immaturity and confusion on his part. 22 years later! In my head I know this is untrue because I was there, I saw and felt the love. Also he has an emotionally disabling mental illness so his perception is skewed. But in my heart it hurts unbelievably and has caused me to question myself.

knowing that I have lost everything and he has gained a new family.. what was once my home is now covered in kid's drawings, cereals and sweets.. the house was decorated for their enjoyment.. it feels like I never existed.. shocked at how easily he has moved on.... he called today to sort something out and it looks like I will have to meet him at some point... any contact is a killer.. I'm close to the edge and trying to keep my head above water.... thats another kick in the teeth... I am struggling with thoughts of suicide and he is living with her and her kids and having a whale of a time

I'm just so sorry any of us have to endure this x

Nothing much that my ex can do that will hurt me or cause me pain, he did more than enough of that during the marriage so I am immune to it now. I am completely over him.

But it is scary how sensitive I am to other things or people really throwing me and causing me a lot of pain. Very scary to realise how fragile I can still be emotionally.

my stbx denying we ever tried to have kids.
my stbx lying to his lawyers
my stbx making me feel guilty for things i can't control
losing my home
losing my womanhood
losing someone who i thought cared and loved me very deeply

I'm sorry you still hurt after 3 years. Truthfully, there is no reason for her to want to refer to her boyfriend when speaking with you; boundryless?

Anything that harms my 2 young adult children. Losing my trust in an individual. I can think of more, but those two are the things that hurt me the most.

What hurts me? wow good questions. It hurts to know that i wasted half my life with a selfish man who did not and could not love me back. It hurts to think he took me for a dam fool. It hurts to think i truly trusted him and he deceived, lied and cheated on me. It hurts to think that I really though he was a man of God and he fooled us all even his church. It hurts to think he is happier and better off than me financially while i struggle. It hurts to think that he will never regret what he has done to me. It hurts when the holidays come and I know he is spending it with her. It hurts because the way he left. He just left a note while i was away and when i returned my world was upside down. It hurts to think that when I confronted him he treated me like he never knew me. It hurts to think he has made me out as the bad person to his friends and family while along it was him. it hurts to think that i will never trust a man again or ever get rid of this HURT

I would probably be here for hours if I were to list all the things that still hurt about losing my ex (which was a little over 3 years ago). It kills me to know he has moved on, and it hurts when he contacts any of my friends to let them know how swimmingly his life is going. I never know from one day to the next how I'm going to feel about him... I can miss him today and then tomorrow I can hate the fact that I know he even exists. Riding by places that we used to go together, certain songs, etc. I'm sorry you still hurt over your ex... they tell me that time heals all wounds, so I suppose we shall see. Until then try to keep your head up. I sometimes wish I would have had a child with him just so he would be in my life in some way instead of out of it completely. Good luck to you hun, and if you ever need to vent, I'm here.

What hurts me the most is watching my young daughter hurt over the break-up of our family.