Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Momof2Boys 01/22/2017

So we haven't come up with a separation agreement yet bc I am in the process of renewing my massage license to go back to work. Once I have any idea of how much I will be making we can come up with an agreement. In the meantime we take turns staying at our home every other night. We are still both here though when he isn't at work. It is so hard being in the same house. I love him so much and don't want this. I am on the verge of a panic attack and my anxiety medication is not working. This is such torture. I want my marriage. I am probably repeating myself and sound like a pathetic person but I just can't help it. I want these feelings to stop. This is so hard. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Why does it seem so easy for him? Why does he act like everything is fine? This is what he did during our marriage. It is so confusing how you can go from loving someone to not wanting to be with them. I just don't get it. I have all the emotions and he seems to have none. God Damn it!!!

Momof2Boys 01/22/2017

You can just tell me to shut up anytime. I am just hoping that one day I'll be able to post more positive posts.

LogansLola 01/22/2017

I hear you. I am going through it myself. After 30 years of marriage the drinking binges got out of control. He left Friday and I spent yesterday and so far today in bed crying. I want to know what he feels, why he fell off the wagon. I want to ask questions and have answers to them. I love him. I met him when I was 15, we've been together for 35 years. He's all I know. Today I want to die to stop the pain. I've had the panic and anxiety attacks but now my son and brother are on suicide watch. You aren't alone. Somehow, someway we have to pull through this. Reading other people experiencing the same pain, I am hopeful that the pain will subside. I hope we can walk each other through this dark period.

LogansLola 01/22/2017

You have your youth and two boys. I should have left along time ago. I'm 50 now and my sons are angry that this marriage lasted as long as it did. One son won't talk to me, the other is only here because my brother told him about my mental state. Don't do this to your children. They'll hate you and feel the negativity of a bad marriage.

Momof2Boys 01/22/2017

Yes. I have the same feelings. Trying to stay strong for my kids. I could not imagine the pain they would feel if I wasn't here. I could not put them through that. That is where I try to get my strength. I too spend days in bed crying. It doesn't change anything :( but I can't help it. I need to get back to work and get my own place. I am hoping that helps and not make it worse.

I am so sorry you are having a hard time too. This is not easy. Please know you are NOT ALONE! I feel very alone which is why I post here. It does help to just get it out and have others to listen and talk to. I am a talker and need to be with people. I don't do alone well. It is definitely something I will have to work on. Message me anytime if you need to talk! We are here for you!!!! Please take care of yourself. I have texted the suicide hotline 3 times. That has helped me tremendously! You should contact them!!

LogansLola 01/22/2017

I ask myself, how is it so easy for him? I don't know where he went or with whom. But everyone has told me to let it go, let him be, don't communicate with him and leave the unanswered questions alone. I want to reach out to him so badly. After he hit me, for the first time ever, I realized I had to let go now. It's the beginning of another stage if I take him back, or I can begin A better stage in my life without him.

MRbrokenheart 01/22/2017

I'm sorry momo I'm going through the same thing. when I see my stbex wife she is so cold and emotionless. its like we wernt married for 13 yrs how can she be so cold and seem happy while my heart and soul are so crushed. what helps me is I think that is an impostor she is not the woman I loved and married. the woman I married died along time ago. its really hard trust me I know. I am still struggling . I'm trying the no contact at all it helps even though shes not trying anyway. do you have any friends you could stay with till you can get on your feet. maybe join church meetings or other activities to keep you busy out of house. stay strong and positive WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS together.

cleigh 01/22/2017

To answer your question in the heading...put one foot in front of the other and just keep moving forward. Don't torture yourself trying to figure out a logical explanation for an irrational action. You will never find one. The answers are irrelevant because they would simply be justification of the leaving spouses actions. "I'm unhappy", "you didn't pay attention to me" , etc. They can come up with a million excuses, but the real reason is buried somewhere in their soul that they don't want to face or fix. That's why they take the easy route of walking out without even trying to save the marriage and seem perfectly at peace with it.

Momof2Boys 01/22/2017

You do not deserve to be abused like that! You are worth so much more than that. Have you tried counseling? Do you have domestic violence centers where you live? Reach out for support wherever you can get it. You should not have to deal with this alone. Don't isolate yourself. Reach out for help!

LogansLola 01/22/2017

I make sense on paper but the pain is unbearable. It's my heart fighting my mind. I'm so scared of being alone. I'll get through this, I hope. I was a fighter. I went from being a homeless teen to having the house, the car, the great trips and vacations. I'm financially secure but it still doesn't matter when you lose the one you love.

LearningwhoiamKB36 01/22/2017

I am going through the same pain. I keep asking the same questions but get no answers. I'm just tired of living him and he seems to be happy and content without me while I'm so miserable.

Momof2Boys 01/22/2017

I feel your pain. I am going through it too. My situation is not the same but losing the one you love and have been with for so long is the worst feeling.

MRbrokenheart, I do stay with friends sometimes but they all have lives too so it's tough. It will probably be another month or two before I can get my own place. I am going to visit my best friend in California for a week. I leave on Tuesday so I hope I can clear my head a bit while I''m out there.

cleigh, thank you!

LogansLola 01/22/2017

I wish my husband well and hope that maybe without me the drinking will stop. Maybe I'm the cause of it. I didn't report it because he is good person when he doesn't drink. That's why I've stayed so long. The rehab programs, the counseling, the treatments. Our sons both acknowledge that and that is why my oldest son and brother agree that it's time to end this marriage. Let him be as they say.

Momof2Boys 01/22/2017

Learningwhoiam,

It just sucks!! I just don't get it. He is a veteran and maybe he gets it from the military I don't know. But what I do know is he shut off his emotions after his Iraq deployment so he woukdn't feel the pain so I guess he has just trained himself to do that and he continues to do it. He emotionally abandoned me a long time ago. He still loved me but that connection wasn't there like it used to be. It's all so very sad and I wish he had gotten the help he needed in the beginning.

Momof2Boys 01/22/2017

Alcoholism is a disease. Please don't blame yourself. That is his issue, you need to get out if he is abusing you and his alcoholism is affecting you. You deserve more than that! You are worth it!!

LogansLola 01/22/2017

I need to sleep and I'm going on almost 48 hours of not sleeping and just crying. I keep thinking this is a bad dream. I am hopeful that I can survive this.

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