Going out for me is hard as I have my kids many off days then others my anxiety is so bad it's hard. Today I did hike and that felt good. I will go out to eat by myself it's actually peaceful. I haven't done much else other than a trip to Disneyland with kids..i kinda not sure what to do honestly. I am considering a Laughlin trip solo if I can pull it off.

I hope you're able to enjoy a trip like that. I need to learn how to enjoy just going out alone again, I think it can be really good to find peace in that.

Yea even that trip makes me nervous. But I like to try but when with someone in my case so long it's so hard to just not have a person there. You just get use to that

After my divorce I chopped my hair off very short. I guess it was a way of saying it was a new me. Strangely I think it helped me view myself and my future differently, too. As an abuse survivor I think it's important that you get help and take time to process what you went through, especially so you don't repeat those patterns. As for filling your time, take a class in something you always wanted to do. I hope to hear back from you that things are looking up!

My ex suffered from extreme social anxiety. As a consequence, we rarely ventured out. I find myself more isolated as a result since the break up.

Do what you enjoy doing. Or put effort into something that you've considered doing that you might enjoy, but haven't had the opportunity to yet.

It's been 5 months since my break up. Initially, I would indulge in marathon sessions of Xfinity TV and began doing some minor home improvement stuff. Mostly just painting currently. My goal is eventually to sell this house. Too many memories here. Long range goal, but has kept me occupied.

If you have friends or family close by - contact them and make arrangements to do something. I found that the first few months after the break up, it was difficult to concentrate on even singular tasks. What would normally have taken 15 minutes, would stretch out into hours. I have found that making a 'list of things to do' helps keep me focused.

Online gaming has a proven track history of keeping me completely immersed, however I've avoided that deliberately as I want to be 'present' too. I think I need to experience this grief - albeit in parceled doses, but am avoiding dodging it completely as it just postpones the inevitable.

wall I started drinking and cutting and I give up on life

After my divorce (18 days ago - yay!) I thought I'd have to celebrate, but I didn't, it would have felt forced. I was just so exhausted and relieved to have that part over with. The day he moved out (7 days ago) I spent the day with friends and they took me out to dinner to celebrate. Low key, but it was nice. Since then, I've been slowly trying to rearrange my house. He will be taking many pieces of furniture, but not till much later. I want it all out now, to the shed or basement. I'd rather have the second hand tv I picked up last year on milk crates than to be using the tv I bought him for his 50th and the tv unit he built and will be taking, but I don't want to change too much too fast, for the kids' sake. It's more of an emotional celebration I have every day that I don't have to deal with him.

well what I decided to do to fill up my time and also a great way to give back is that I just signed up for volunteering work here locally where I'm from. I figured since I don't have many friends its a great way to help and get my mind distracted but also to make new friends

I am boring i guess, still working the same jobs, i had Moved
and got divorced. That was enough Change for me at this time.

To me its not good to Make many life changing decisions until
you Are in a better place emotionally and not grieving and in
transitioning.

Some of my decisions after the divorce Were not well thought
out ones. I am like a widow in my grieving and i try go With that
thought in mind. I have learned few hard lessons along the way.

Soon hopefully i will be healed, whole and healthy and my new
Life will unfold as its meant to be, thats my hope anyways, I just
keep doing the hard inner work to get myself there, HUGS

thank you to everyone for sharing about what you've been through and what you've done to move on. it's good to know that others have made it through similar situations. i still have not yet gone through with the breakup but hope to be strong and try to soon.

To me the healing started after the divorce was final.

During separation it was a war zone and it had been
bad for 12 years. I did myself no favors by staying when
he had Checked out of the relationship and it had been
slowly turning toxic. There is no coming back from toxic.

I was in alanon and going to therapy for two years before
He left so i was a lot stronger and much more ready for
what was coming, HUGS

I also had kids and a place I found I could take them was the Art Gallery. I am not a big art person and some of it I really don't get. However it was hard to feel like a loser when you are able to stand in the same room as a Monet painting or something that was pretty amazing. It kept me from feeling like a loser and I spent a lot of time sitting in front of the Water Lillies painting wanting to cry but it always helped.

After my separation, I moved into a small duplex for me and my kids. One of the things I remember that had a tremendous impact on me was my newly found independence and autonomy. I found that I decorated my little place the way I wanted it. The colors and themes I like. I didn't have to double check to make sure the ex liked it and gave his approval. I found that I could keep a budget since I didn't have to worry about the ex spending grocery money for a night on the town with his buddies. I could pursue my interests without being questioned. I was able to act on my passion for gardening - my little rental duplex was the prettiest one on the block with all the flowers and plants in the yard. I could listen to the music I liked, watch the TV shows and movies I wanted to watch (not action flick after action flick after action flick).

I could live my life and discover who I was once again. And I was able to determine who I wanted to be and what I wanted for the future. It was an amazing time of discovery. Too bad I still thought I needed a man to validate my worth. I spent the next 18 months in a toxic rebound relationship with a narcissist, but at least by that time, I knew that wasn't what I wanted long term... I guess you win some, you lose some, but the key is to keep playing the game of Life.