There is a lot of good feedback here and I hope you can take it all in. Because of circumstances, I would not actually go out on my own to even START MY life until I was 35. (I am a late bloomer ..lol)

I would marry at 40 and spend the last 10 of a 15 year marriage in a very lonely, unhappy marriage.
At 56 I am beginning steps to divorce.

We could always kick ourselves after the fact for staying too long or wasting time after the fact but there is no point. Mr C is right . I consider everything that does happen in our lives as a learning experience. (After being with him, perhaps you now realize something you do want or need in a future relationship down the line.....or something you will absolutely not put up with)

I am learning age is not as important as we think to ALOT of people. What is important is how you feel and treat yourself. I will share with you what i am learning and working through now myself.. you need to discover who you are...what YOU like, hate, want in your life.....What makes YOU happy.
A man can't do that...but if you feel better and come to accept the good, strong, confident person you can become...you will have all of yourself to give to another and share in a relationship.
imho THIS is what will eventually lead you into a healthy, happy relationship (if that is what you want)

Hang in there. I do wish you well.

I understand these concerns about your age, but for any guy worth having, it won't matter! I'm in my thirties now, and women my age or older hold greater appeal for me now than ever before! Your recovery from this is what matters . . . you can rise to the challenge of new relationships and be a better, wiser person for these unfortunate experiences you've had, or you can sink under the weight of this failed relationship. The choice is yours!

All of the divorced women I know, several of whom are well into middle age and have kids, haven't had any problems finding nice guys. Many of them landed younger guys, too! I would attribute their success to their resiliency and overall positive attitude.

I understand what you feel right now, I'm 35 too and single. I don't want to live alone, too. I think it's just a normal to feel that way. But reading other people's opinion gives us more hope and enjoy what 's on the table.

Hugs..

I second all the posts. I am 50 and trust me I am scared too but it cannot control my life. There will be someone for both of us. Like themiddle said, it is all about attitude. Take care of yourself now. Work on yourself. Build back up your self-esteem and self-worth before jumping back into the dating scene. I am doing the same myself

Thank you everyone. Such kind messages and I'm sorry I haven't had a moment to respond to each individually but I did read them and they are very touching. xo

you feel lost because of the time you spent with this fellow. But nothing in what you have said showed that you still care for him. YOu are lamenting your wasted time and your age.. I get you. I would too. But would you really want to be fulfilled by that next fellow? Do you feel only complete when you have a boyfriend. Is this about feeling alone?
At 35 you are too young to have such regrets. You can get that partner that you will truly love and love you back. Whether that guy is older or younger - be open to it.

You will be fine. Through every storm there is a rainbow. I am 31 with kids and I often say who would want to be with me? Honestly 35 isn't old! He is living for him so its time you lived for you! The best thing about love is that it doesn't have an age limit and happens when you least expect it. Best wishes!

Can absolutely sympathize with the feeling of having wasted time on the wrong person. It is a terrible feeling and it is time you will never get back. The only think you can do is move forward and don't waste more time beating yourself up.

I wasted 27 years on a guy (14 married). I had kids with him. I should have known from the beginning that he was a waste of time. But, I didn't. I do dwell in it sometimes, but fight it. I am pushing myself forward and so should you.

I didn't read all the comments. But, if you do want kids, what about doing it on your own? So many of us are single moms. It is hard, yes. But, if you want kids, then I would think the pain of not having them would be bigger than the pain of single parenting.

This is your life. 35 is not over. You likely have that time ++++++ left - go for it!

You are not old! I'm 43 and would give anything to be 35 again. My husband and I split up one year ago. He moved in with his 20 year old girlfriend within a month. They are still living together and I half expect them to have a child soon. It breaks my heart every day, as much as I try to deny it. I feel like I will be single forever and part of me wants to be. The other part is lonely. I don't even like being around people. I feel too broken, and old, to have much to offer to anyone at this point. I am really, truly, sorry you are feeling this way. It's very lonely and a lot of people just don't understand.

I understand how you feel. I feel the same.