Hello,

I am 49 and was recently blown off by a really nice (or so I thought) gentleman, 52,  who I met in an airport last month. He texted me the whole time I was on my cruise, and we talked on the phone regularly until our first date.

I told him from the very beginning that I was going through a nasty divorce and wasn't sure I wanted to date him. That I had some very bad experiences thus far with men and he suggested we start as friends and see where it goes, so I agreed.

One thing I did notice about him is that he is not very reliable all the time. He travels a lot for his job, and sometimes he would say he would call and he wouldn't. Same with texts. He would say he would text after a business dinner and then he wouldn't at times.  It started to concern me a bit.

Now, admittedly, although he initially said he wanted to start as friends, as he said he knew I was going through my divorce,  he came on very strong on our first date. He asked to kiss me pretty quickly that night.  At dinner, he introduced me to the waitress as his "future wife." He  was so charming and mentioned meeting his family, we talked of our kids, and he mentioned becoming exclusive by the end of our whirlwind weekend. We had a great first date dinner and met my friends out afterwards who loved him.  Things heated up quickly, and although he offered to take me home that night, I opted to stay over, although we only fooled around and did not actually have intercourse.  We did much of the same the next night, and again, things were progressing, and I felt quite comfortable with him. We went grocery shopping together, he cooked dinner ,etc. He acted as though he had met his match, and I was smitten. I swore I thought I was different in his eyes and didn't feel like we were rushing things. It all felt so natural, and at my age, I feel like sometimes it's ok to move quickly when things feel right.

As I"m going through a difficult time,  which I shared with him from the getgo, (he's been divorced many years and said he understood and would be there for me.) I shared some personal things with him that weekend. He did as well.  As I"m having a bit of anxiety with my divorce,  after we talked about my situation at length, I started feeling a little nervous, (he admitted he couldn't believe what my husband had done to me and seemed very concerned)  and I made the bad decision of taking a half of a xanax (.25) in front of him. (I do not take it regularly but I have it for when my anxiety is bad. I maybe take it once every couple of weeks if I"m having a really bad day, so by no means am I addicted to it nor have I ever been.) I was also so tired from not sleeping for 2 nights much and the small dose of xanax that I told him I needed to lie down for a bit. He acted a bit strangely but was still very polite and gracious.

After I left an hour later or so, he stopped calling and texting regularly. He started becoming more distant. Wasn't answering texts frequently, etc. I tried to reach out a couple of times but he kept blowing me off in one way or another.

Also, at the risk of sounding sounding conceited, (and I don't mean to) :)  I am considered to be a very attractive and highly energetic, fun and entertaining person.  I have lots of friends and am generally the life of the party...so, it's not like I"m someone who would normally get dumped, I suppose.  Honestly, I have 35 year olds wanting to date me, and I"ve never had a problem meeting men since I"ve been separated. Quite the contrary.

That being said, his Father is dying of lung cancer. He has a few months left to live, and he does travel a lot, so I figured I should be patient. Maybe he's just needing some space?

I finally texted him a couple weeks later and asked him what had happened in his mind. He was very polite and said he absolutely loved our weekend, that I had done nothing wrong, he loved our time spent together, but that he knew I was going through a lot, that we were at different stages in our lives, and that the xanax had surprised him. He ended saying he would love to catch up at some point if I were still interested. It sounded to me still like he was sugar coating and blowing me off nicely.

My friends have all told me I blew it, and I"m just left feeling sad and confused.  I know I should have been harder to get. I know I shouldn't have taken a xanax in his presence..I get it. But, I did it. I really liked him and felt so comfortable very soon. I can't go back and change what I did.

Any advice or thoughts? I can't seem to move past this.