Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I guess i'll start off by saying I've never done something like this.. reaching out telling my story to strangers but at this point i feel so isolated and alone i'm not sure how else to get any type of advise. I know i've put myself in a tough predicament giving myself no space.. not other people except my boyfriend and my family.. but i've been in this like cacoon since Covid hit and i started working from home. Now the world is opening itself back up and i'm not really sure what to do but this is sort of besides anyways.
My boyfriend and I have been together since Jan 24th, 2020. Not really super long but we met, became bestfriends, and jumped into each other head first. We were each other's worlds. We were together 24/7 and not in the unhealthy way you know, we just couldn't get enough of the happiness we felt when we were together. At first.. things were truly amazing. He always understood what i needed and vice versa, he never judged me, never got angry for my mistakes, and certainly never ever opened his mouth to call me anything other than my name or something sweet. Gradually over time things changed and im honestly not sure at all where things took a turn. We had an amazing summer and then the winter hit..
I feel like his anger issues were always there but because they weren't aimed at me it was manageable. I mean i have my own mental health issues.. anxiety, depression, etc. Overall i am just sort of an emotional person. And in the beginning he had patience and sympathy towards me.. i mean it was loved and admiration. when i cried he was there no question.. It just isn't like that anymore. I don't know how to get to the point here honestly, i've held things in for so long and today's argument just feels different.
He gets so angry his voice changes, his whole demeaner changes. He no longer cares for my feelings or even my intentions, and i know deep down in my heart those are not things that i can make him do. Even as i type this somehow i just know that it's over but i can't quite grip the reality of yet because we haven't officially broken up. I just don't know that if in my heart i can continue on like this.. i mean who would even want to!!! The agruments are over the smallest things.. and i mean the SMALLEST. I'm at the point where i feel that he loves me but he doesn't like me... comptempt..
I've had a few serious relationships but none that were on this level. none that ever came close to making me feel like this one has, like HE has. I don't know how to walk away.. how to restart.. AGAIN! It's so frustrating to believe that you are with the person you should be with because everything in your heart, mind and soul feel so right and then BAM everything changes.. I know just how naive i sound saying this at all but i know that this cannot be life.. this cannot be love.. love cannot possibly hurt this much. it has to be something else. I dont know if I have the strength to let go, and i don't know if i have the strength to stay.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
Dating, and early on in a relationship, is always good and fun and everyone is happy. The Honeymoon Phase. But... then you start to see the "real" person, and that is something you need to pay attention to. The red flags. The things about the other person that concern you.
You did nothing wrong. You can't change him or make him be the way he was in the beginning. This is how he really is. It's good that you recognize now that you need to break it off.
Look into getting a therapist. A therapist can really help with dealing with break ups, building back self esteem, co-dependency issues, etc. There are also lots of good books about relationships, which I have found helpful to read these kinds of books.
Also helpful is to keep writing things out. Keep a journal. Write out your thoughts, feelings, anything. It helps to put things on paper and get things out of your head. I journaled a lot when I was dealing with a bad relationship or a break up.
It's okay. He's not The One for you. You did nothing wrong. You're young, and you don't want to waste any more time on this guy. When you are out of the relationship, you will be free to find YOU again, and you will be meeting new people, and eventually date again when you are ready. Now is the time to focus on you and putting yourself first. Be your own best friend.
I know I did nothing wrong and honestly I think I haven't walked away because a huge part of me knows that he is a good man.. I know his potential and I just believe in him overall. You know? I have my own issues and I'm just recently learning to control them and I know it isn't easy. He hasn't ever had any guidance on how to cope with mental health issues and I'm trying to be there for him it's just getting extremely difficult. He always understands he doesn't need to overreact once all is said is done, it's more so just calming the beast that is the issue.
I've always believed forgiveness is the key to a long lasting relationship and now I feel like everything I've always thought is wrong. I forgive him, I guess I'm just doubting that I can continue on even so.
Funny you bring it up, but I have a therapist! I actually got a therapist to learn how to have healthy relationships after I met my current boyfriend. I've had a history of abuse and addiction after moving every year and going to 13+ schools (elementary, middle, and high school). She has helped me heal and acknowledge sooooo much, more than I ever thought! I have no doubt if I do decide to end my relationship she will be a huge help.
I appreciate your kindness. XO
This feeling is very heavy honestly.. It's in my nature to want to fix everything and everyone around me. I sometimes wonder if I am fantasizing about what a relationship is supposed to look like. It has it's dark times, but when is enough.. enough?
XO..