Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Wanting a real answer

llmt
llmt
Just throwing this out there and I'm curious of the responses. I was wondering who should leave the house and find a new place to live...me or my H. Scenario....I'm a stay at home mom and will not be starting work until the 8th of Sept making practically nothing. He is the one that cheated but also pays for EVERYTHING, since I haven't worked in 2 years. I feel he should move out and let me and the boys stay here since this is their home and their comfortable environment, however unless he pays for it..I cannot afford the mortgage even with my job..not sure how much of an apt I'll be able to afford either..it would have to be 2 bdrooms and the boys would have to share..which is tough with one still in a crib. What to do? What do you all think?
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
I think you need to be realistic--I know you say you are only talking separation right now. Face it, he has cheated and will likely do it again. I know you may want to believe it's not over, but in all likelihood it is. I don't mean to bust your chops; it's just that dealing with things straight up will help you more.

That being said: get an attorney asap. You are dealing with serious issues and need competent legal counsel. You deserve it and so do your kids.

Yes, he should do the honorable thing and move out and continue paying but I can almost guarantee that he won't do that. If he moves out, he will retaliate by not paying (this is what my ex did).

See an attorney and file for temp. orders. This will assure that he continues to pay child support and bills while the divorce in pending. Please consider this. I wish I had done it immediately. I listened to my ex's "let's be amicable" crap and spent six months paying all the bills. Learn from my mistake. See an attorney; get things established in writing.

Hugs to you. Stay strong. Keep talking to us here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My point is why try to keep the house in the divorce if you can't make the payments later? If you can swing it financially, keep the house. If you can't, just go make your home else where.
llmt
llmt
I have no problem selling the house or letting him buy me out, I just needed to get advice on what to do in the interim until that can be done. Just wondering if I should look for a place until we decide what to do with it or have him move out and pay for it or what I can pay for then his added whatever to make the payments until an agreement has been reached. I don't think, personally, that he should benefit from the perks of having all these room while I sit in a dinky apt with 2 kids and have to go do my laundry in another bldg. when I did nothing to destroy this relationship. I don't know why he just doesn't move in with the OW. Anyway someone mentioned about the nesting where the kids stay and the parents go when it's the others time to be with them. He did mention that and I told him to basically fuck off b/c I've made enough concession and inconveniences due to his infidelity. Screw that why should I have to put my life in anymore of an uproar than it already is.