I would stay put for the kids' sakes. See how it plays out. Judge will likely rule in your favor for staying in the house (you may have to buy out his share) . You can't afford the bills with your job, but maybe you can once Child support and temp alimony kick in... I wouldn't move out (in fact, I have taken my own advice).... have the lawyer run the numbers.

I hope you don't have to move. I'm hoping I don't, either.. it would be hard on the kids.

llmt,

He should absolutely move out and let his family enjoy the comforts of their home. He's the one who strayed and if he's any kind of a man he would move out AND continue to pay the mortgage. Why should you and your children suffer any losses because of his indiscretions?

If you haven't already you should go through legal channels as soon as possible to see how much child support he will be paying. He will be paying child support!!! I know he hasn't moved yet, but you should be prepared.

Geez, I'm not sure since I didn't really have a choice because mine just up and walked out. But with 4 kids, I HAVE to stay here until something else happens. I was just thinking about our financial situation because even though things have remained status quo, he is now living separately which is costing us money we normally wouldn't have to put out and we can't afford it. I had this all dropped in my lap, so I had no plan. I don't know how long it will take me to find a job to start bringing in extra money. Then there's the matter of daycare, clothes for work, extra gas, etc.

But as far as I know, as long as you two are still married, he's going to have to pay the bills, right? I think his @ss should be the one to go, but you'll have to make sure that you'll still be able to pay the bills. So far my husband hasn't pulled any funny business with the money, but like I said, living a separate life has increased the money going out with no additional money coming in. It's going to get hairy and I am very scared.

also starting a job now may lower alimony or turn it into nothing. you may want to ask about that.

I agree with hiker. I don't plan on moving unless, or until, I find it absolutely necessary. My sons deserve this home and I'm hoping the support will assist in keeping it. If not, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Check with your lawyer ... get some advice from them.

wanted to add I'm assuming you will have primary custody and they will be with you most of the time....

My kids are older (but can live here till they finish college) but:

1. I agree, I didn't stray so why should I leave?

2. This will be the kids home FOREVER

3. I was laid off. So after having worked for 25 years during marriage (and sacrificing health, safety and happiness because he would not give up drugs to pass the drug testing to get the job he deserved) he can now support ME!

4. I have shown him what options he has and how I can legally torture him so he is being cooperative with me.

Yes but DE is changing the laws regarding primary custody..they now want the parents to have 50/50 and push to do so. I have the job so not much I can do there. I will not be able to afford it regardless unless he still chooses to pay..not sure what cards he will pull when the time comes. Natty summed it up for me, if either move out its xtra everything..double but he (or I) needs to if he's still in contact or seeing her. I can pay for what I can but its hard.

Stay put. Get advice from your lawyer. You received good advice here.

wow, i had no idea about 50/50 custody in delaware. I really get the extra everything....we are living completely differently than a few months ago and more is going on credit cards. It makes me want to divorce sooner when I think about it.. ((((hugs)))

It's a messed up system that punishes you financially for getting a job earlier when you have been a SAHM... it shouldn't be that way.

The kids need a home, but if it's 50/50, then they need two homes.. big sigh for you, hon.

You stay he goes. Find a buddy and move his butt out. If neither of you can pay for the house seperately then sell it and split the profits/bills down the middle and be done. If he want's to stay he can buy out your share and start paying the child support/alimony. Check with the lawyer but cover your six at all times!!

Do you have an attorney? I'm sure that's what he would recommend to the court

I think he should own what he did to his family and leave. Not only leave, but continue to pay whatever bills he can while living bare bones. Does he say that you can't afford an apartment? If so, is it true or just an excuse for him to have his cake and eat it too?
I know how tough it is to live in the same house and watch his actions, but you can't leave. Anyway to make it more uncomfortable for him to stay without the kids seeing?

I know of another state where a family member was told she shouldn't move out by her lawyer.....he could claim abandonment or something like that.. very, very odd laws, so don't move out until you talk to an attorney. It could affect how much of the house is yours, from what I understand (at least in that state).

DONT LEAVE!!! sorry..I made this mistake to soon...abadonment laws are real in some states - as in abandoning the property - dont know about DE. Please call a lawyer today for a consultation, some will even consult for free. Contact the state bar association in your state (Google) and ask if there is a resource you can turn to for very low cost or free legal advice. Do not try to field this alone...take it from one who knows:(