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Validation

Rman
Rman
When someone needs to be validated, what does that mean?
deleted_user
deleted_user
All of us seek acceptance and I really like Sylphs and DD's explanation as that is so wonderful in a loving relationship....
We had the longest running thread in ds history based on this exact question as to when it is validation, and when is it co -dependence?
Hugs, Kimmee
deleted_user
deleted_user
IMO...it becomes co-dependent when you only feel self worth through validation instead of feeling it good about your own self. Validation should be a topping and not the recipe.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Nicely put, Z.
Lily61
Lily61
Validation just means you accept the other person's feelings or beliefs as real for them.

Some people are very good at invalidating the feelings of other people by saying things like "You shouldn't be upset about that."
deleted_user
deleted_user
Love that! ((((Z)))) A perfect explanation! smooches darlin.
deleted_user
deleted_user
*curtsies*
Rman
Rman
Very interesting. So what are you considered if you don't want people to validate you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
broken
Rman
Rman
What about if you only want others to feel good about themselves, without worrying about yourself?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Deflecting from seeing and addressing your own pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is really sad when that happens as we don't value ourselves, for reasons that Z mentioned... If we aren't our own best friends, then who is going to be?
I just want to thank you for this thread!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Then you risk not nurturing yourself, Rman. When you are nurtured you are better at nurturing others.

(I like saying "nurture" a lot.)
Rman
Rman
But what if you accept your pain and embrace it?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Then you are denying the flip side. Not healthy.
Rman
Rman
But does everyone necessarily have to fit into that category? I mean, what if there are some people who really don't need validation and are happy in misery?