Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Just got back from a week long vac. with my best friend.
While I love her, she just attacked me all week about everything. I'm 47, still on the pill, but unlike her, I don't or never have smoked, and that's why my Dr.'s feel it's safe - she says it isn't. I'm hypoglycemic, I need fruit the minute I wake up, and I need to have something every few hours - she eats only once a day. I'm not getting on with my life fast enough for her after my divorce.
We had a good time exploring, but activities we liked never were the same. I'm the tennis, miniture golf, dance lessons type of person, she likes 4 wheeling, horseback riding, just things I didn't grow up with. She was from the country, I was country club.
Needless to say, she never had manners classes, and her manners are non-existent. She embarrassed me so many times because she was a bull in a china shop, and where we were was very mannered, and she received many stares.
Her huge thing is she thinks I have no life. I don't need to work, so I volunteer, walk my dogs, do things I like. I don't go out to bars often, or even out to dinner because I love cooking. She earns a very good income, which she thinks gives her the right to preach, and behave how she does.
Questions:
A. She has my boyfriend convinced that my life is stagnant - and it was for a while. I'm trying to mend fences with my children and my family. I had a lot of changes hit at once, divorce, ex moving out 2 months after (finally), dealing with the finances, getting the apt. attached to my house for a tenant, and realizing all the garbage my ex left in the basement and garage. It overwhelms me at times.
B. Do I say something to her? Do I talk about this with my boyfriend? Not sure how to handle the aftermath of our vacation.
Thoughts?
While I love her, she just attacked me all week about everything. I'm 47, still on the pill, but unlike her, I don't or never have smoked, and that's why my Dr.'s feel it's safe - she says it isn't. I'm hypoglycemic, I need fruit the minute I wake up, and I need to have something every few hours - she eats only once a day. I'm not getting on with my life fast enough for her after my divorce.
We had a good time exploring, but activities we liked never were the same. I'm the tennis, miniture golf, dance lessons type of person, she likes 4 wheeling, horseback riding, just things I didn't grow up with. She was from the country, I was country club.
Needless to say, she never had manners classes, and her manners are non-existent. She embarrassed me so many times because she was a bull in a china shop, and where we were was very mannered, and she received many stares.
Her huge thing is she thinks I have no life. I don't need to work, so I volunteer, walk my dogs, do things I like. I don't go out to bars often, or even out to dinner because I love cooking. She earns a very good income, which she thinks gives her the right to preach, and behave how she does.
Questions:
A. She has my boyfriend convinced that my life is stagnant - and it was for a while. I'm trying to mend fences with my children and my family. I had a lot of changes hit at once, divorce, ex moving out 2 months after (finally), dealing with the finances, getting the apt. attached to my house for a tenant, and realizing all the garbage my ex left in the basement and garage. It overwhelms me at times.
B. Do I say something to her? Do I talk about this with my boyfriend? Not sure how to handle the aftermath of our vacation.
Thoughts?
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The solution is simply to find more compatible friends, without saying anything too personal about the way you are. Don't make the mistake of trying to "fix" someone else's life.
Your boyfriend might be a great support in this. Perhaps he has friends of his own that you both would prefer spending time with.
4-wheeling and horseback riding ... ugh!
JMO..let it go!
We went, there were others who didn't want to snorkel, so we floated.
The cruise ended up being an all you can drink rum cruise, which my friend took advantage of. I felt bad that I wanted to laugh at her later, I needed to eat, she had one bite of her dinner and had to go back to the room. I ate alone, the next day she was so hung over, it took every ounce of me not to make a comment. She was hung over for 2 days! I thought it was funny, I saw it coming on the trip, but unlike her, I'm not going to preach.
My boyfriend constantly tells me I don't speak my mind, but I know how I feel when she does it to me, I don't want to be that way.
Is my friend just f*****ing with me, or is she just jealous that she 10 days older, and the looks 10 yrs older from her smoking?
If you are happy with all that great!!! It is not about what others think or say, it is all about how we feel about ourselves, and if you are happy with your life then just either walk away from her or let her "flap her lips" but take no notice of what she has to say.
She is the one with the problem, she seems to feel you need to change to suit her, but you don't. You need to be happy with who you are.
This would probably be the fastest way to restore some balance in your "friend" relationship, but there is always the risk of causing a split, especially if your "friend" is really just power-tripping at your expense..