Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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earlysteps84 08/12/2017

Today was a beautiful day in my city, BEATIFUL!! sunshine, low humidity and excellent weather all around. I started to notice all the couples holding hands and at outdoor venues chatting and enjoying themselves, just like I once did with my guy. And then, in came the self pity, the why not me?s. I came home from dance class and noticed that the lights at his place were off (we live diagonally across the street from each other). I immidiately thought he was out and about having a good old time-without me-. I got so upset. I started my breathing exercises, implementing the tools I've learned help when you are overwhelmed with emotions. Nothing worked. I did not cry, but I started finding faults in myself (you're too skinny, too old (even though he's 13 years older than me), hair is wrong etc). I was merciless with myself. I was doing so well before.

There's something to be said about getting over someone. Even when you list all their faults and they are real, if you love them, really love them, you don't see faults, and even if you see faults and flaws of all sorts, you love them just the same. That's got be the worst catch 22 scenario. His lights are back on, now I can sleep in peace. UGH!!!

Strong4me2017 08/12/2017

I'm so sorry that would be terribly hard living so close to your ex. At least mine moved 4 hours away when he left. The self pity is hard I hate seeing happy couples it makes me miss my old life your not alone stay strong hugs

Imlosingit 08/12/2017

I agree with strong4me2017, And I completely get the out and about watching everyone else having fun with their special someones, and then to see "that" light out, and jump to conclusions. My husband still lives with me, so it's the "texting" that I get to see. Good for you on your implementing your tools to help settle yourself. And what a wonderful idea of learning to love, not only what you see good about yourself, but the flaws and faults as well. I don't know if I could ever get there, but it's worth looking into. And maybe the pity-party list won't be so long. Keep taking care of yourself, best of luck with "the light" :) hugs

thiscantbeit 08/12/2017

I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with this - *hug*. I can completey understand and relate to what your're feeling. It feels like everything around you moves on except you. But in my time I'm learning just that - it's my time. I hate that I'm still here but my process is going to happen at whatever pace it's going to happen. In the meantime I just have to go through it as painful and dragged out as it may be. There are triggers all around, even ones I never expected to be triggers. So I try to avoid those I can control. Put a plant in front of your window to block your view of his ;-). Thinking about them going on with their lives without you is always a biggie. Yes, we miss them. Yes, we feel lonely. Yes, we desire to love and be loved. A part of embracing this new reality is seeing your life without him. I'm learning that that doesn't have to be a completely bad thing. We have to try to focus on the part where we can now focus on ourselves and what we want outside of this. I don't have any magic words of wisdom or solutions that can change anything. I just know my struggle. And in it I just cling to God. I want the hope back for better days. Better days for us all. Start looking for that plant ;-) Take care of you. God bless. - Hugs

earlysteps84 08/12/2017

Thank you all, I love the support. I imagine all of us together talking about our situations over some snacks. (visualization).

And, thiscantbeit, I'm all for the plant by the window, but what do I do with the binoculars? :)

NMA033 08/12/2017

i am having the same problem .. and i really just try to find the good points in my life they are not much but they can help a little so try it please ...

ripped_my_heartout 08/13/2017

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Take the time to grieve. Grief can be a lengthy process. Lot of triggers out there that can turn that happy emotion into sadness and pain rather quickly. It's been over 10 months for myself and I still get triggered.
I walk a lot and notice everyone seems coupled every where I go. It's hard to fight off the loneliness especially the weekends.
I recommend doing the small things that make you feel good.
Stay strong and look after yourself. Stay positive
-HUGS-

tejema 08/13/2017

Hang in there. I've learned to embrace and not question the times I'm feeling good. I know the sadness is just around the corner or a trigger away. I do take some time to reflect on my progress which may be small but significant.

You'll make it through. We'll all make it through but it will be a hell of a journey.

-TM

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