Hi Joe: The rolercoaster is part of the healing process. Believe me, she may look ok, but she feels the same feelings you are, trying to seek solace in the middle of this ride. Now don't go feeling sorry for her and contact her because of it. Your kids are the focus now, and I know that's tough, going through myself. It will get easier w/time. The most important for you is to keep talking w/us and know we are all here to listen.

Everyday is a rollercoater ride. I take one moment at a time. I try to focus on what I need to accomplish each day instead of dwelling on the situation. It is not within my power to change the situation so all I can do is try my best to move forward.

Yep I'd like to jump off this train myself...don't know where its going and don't like the ride. But I feel like natalies...you don't have control over this...you only have control of you...yesterday is gone and you can't change it...10 minutes ago...that's gone too...but what you do in the next 10 minutes will affect the next hour and that hour affects your day, your tomorrow..so try to fucous on what you can do in a positive way...10 minutes at a time.

It is harder for you becuase you are on the recieving end of this. She has what is termed "moved on". She has forgoten you and is trying to find a replacement. This is the bad way to do it. Better your way. Suffer the pain before you meet someone else. Excercise the ghosts in your life. That way you dont take any baggage with you into the next relationship. Yes it is hard carrying on with your job but you must. It will be your savour. Missing your kids will be also hard. It feels like a crazy rollercoaster. That is greif. Like someone died. You will get over it. Time is your friend. Just be nice to yourself. Cry if you want and take care of yourself. Within 2 years things will be fine if you do it properly. SDA

It is harder for you becuase you are on the recieving end of this. She has what is termed "moved on". She has forgoten you and is trying to find a replacement. This is the bad way to do it. Better your way. Suffer the pain before you meet someone else. Excercise the ghosts in your life. That way you dont take any baggage with you into the next relationship. Yes it is hard carrying on with your job but you must. It will be your savour. Missing your kids will be also hard. It feels like a crazy rollercoaster. That is greif. Like someone died. You will get over it. Time is your friend. Just be nice to yourself. Cry if you want and take care of yourself. Within 2 years things will be fine if you do it properly. SDA

This whole process sucks. I am now feeling anxious. By May 1st I will be moved out and she will have both the house and the kids. I will be alone in an apartment. There is so much that I dont understand about this messy matter. ya'll have given me given me good words of encouragement

You mean I'm not the only one on this danged coaster?! It sucks! I keep going from tough as nails, to weepy, to angry, etc. We aren't divorced yet either. Haven't even filed papers yet. So is still really fresh and new. I'm glad I found this site. I could use all the help I can get!

I am in the same situation. I have to live in an apartment far away from my wife while she has the house, her two girls, pets and all my things. She lied and obtained a restraining order against me so I am not allowed to even go into my own home. This past few months have been the lonliest of my life. She seems to have moved on fine and started seeing someone else almost immediately (makes me wonder if it hasn't been going on prior to me having to move to Houston temporarily). I know how hard it is and still try to cope with the nights being alone and not being able to contact her. The hurt remains and I try to keep my chin up knowing that someday I'll get better with time.

I am in your shoes except that my husband actually had an affair. We divorced and then he was the one on the rollercoaster. He felt so guilty about leaving that he came back after divorce.. and sad to say he never could cut off his affair and we are back to being separate and divorced. I think in most cases the victim is on less of a roller coaster than the predator they just figure out a way to deal with it or it looks like they do. I understand having to put on the game face to. I am elementary speech language pathologist and the kids are hugging and loving all the time even when you want to be millions of miles away. Keep truckin' it will get easier. Make your EX let you see your kids, call them as much as you can, keep a journal for them --any effort you put forward will be rewarding.

Glen I am sorry man. My wife has been seeing someone elese all along. My coucilor finally allowed me to realize that. Lonely is the one feeling that consumes us all from time to time. Alcohol is not a good choice for that. Good careing friends have helped me with most of my lonliness. The few times I get to see my kids helps too. It gives me something to look forward too. That is, when she does not keep them from me. How could a person who onced claimed to love you deprive you of your own children to hurt and control you. I know once the divorce is final she cant keep them from me. The baby on the other hand is a different matter...

Joe I am right where you are. Ups and downs, struggling with the healing. Last divorce paper hasn't been signed and he hid from me for 6 months that he was dating and it was accident that I found out he already has new gf. While he's still living with me.

The think that has me able to start being OK, is that I've done some serious grieving, spend plenty of time at this site and realize that I need to look forward if I want to move forward. No more looking back. I can't dwell on what is in the past. I can only focus on creating my new future.

Usually I love roller coasters, but this is one I could do without. The normal ups and downs are magnified by my bipolar... :( I don't have any kids which is good for me...I'm only beginning with the roller coaster it's been just 3 months... good luck to ya sweetie!

Lots of ups and downs but the hills are getting smaller. Can't wait to be on level ground. The people here have helped so much. They are wonderful!

I don't understand how anyone would want to keep kids from their dad. It's so not fair to them. Hang in there..im so sorry you are going through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnell though....i can just about see it :)

I can totally relate to what you are feeling. The roller coaster ride sucks