His parents support me, they are not idiots, they know me.

"building a case"

because she wants to? because she has too much time on her hands?

not sure why it matters. the relationship is between you and her. not her family. at this point, her family has an opinion of you that has been established over the course of the relationship you had with her. there is nothing you can do to change that opinion. its out of your control.

you know who you are. you know you are a better person than this. rise above it. you dont owe her parents anything. they dont know all the ins and outs.

xoxo

so she looks like the good guy or victim and that her actions to treat you as she does, or her decision to end the marriage will then be justified.

the sad part is that I never wanted any of this, yet she seems to want to make it hurt me...why deliberately try to hurt another person even more? i guess i'm just not like that, as i'm not trying to hurt people...oh well...shit happens fuckers...

Sorry Rman! I don't know why people do what they do. Try to rise above it.

Do note that we are in a self-justification society. People in divorce like to be told they are right. Lawyers, psychologists, friends, are constantly telling people that. Husbands who had multiple affairs are told they have the right to find happiness; nasty, difficult, self-centered women are told they give too much and need to be more assertive.

As others will say, the truth will sort itself out though a parent may end up taking their child's side and there is little you can do about it.

Support? Probably sort of the same as you coming on here.

I think that we all have trouble seeing clearly our own part in the issues. That's why therapy is often so helpful. Someone impartial who has actually met both people to give an honest opinion, rather than just blind comments about how good or bad someone that we have never even met actually is.


Why not ask her? I so wish that my ex had talked to ME.

Oh my! Thanks so much for starting this thread. I have been through hell and back with my husband. He's very mentally and verbally abusive, a narcissist and an alcoholic. (why am I with him??? he's also a great showman and worked hard in the early years to enmesh me into his life... )

Anyhow, fast forward to the ugly present.. just yesterday I was picking up the kids from my in-laws and the treatment I received confirms to me that they really buy into his side of the story. It hurts. I'm not very close to them but the whole situation of being treated like dirt by my husband over the years and then to have to take the blame for the marriage's failure when I have put up with so much... it just makes me feel as if there is no justice in the world! It's nice to go on DS and see others are going through similiar situations... thank you for sharing your emotional pain it's actually HELPING others! I feel much less isolated.

I agree with Patti, for the same reasons you come here and tell us everything bothersome about her.

Oh boy, do I like what Bobby5000 said. So true. Doesn't matter what's "fair" or what the actual truth is, his shrink, friends and family told him one thing (what he wanted and needed to hear), and mine did likewise. This way everyone walks away feeling "right". Some sh*t. I don't even what the truth is at this point. And I don't care.

And Bean,it doesn't matter what he is. Who are you, what do you want? We're not going to change the other person, regardless of whether they're right, wrong, good, bad, or indifferent. And if you WANT to change someone else, you shouldn't be there to begin with.

She doesn't like you and explaining why? Breakups sucks. People get hurt.

They call " breakup's and divorce " war for a reason.

IDK. Some "grown ups" are extremely petty and immature, and resort to middle school behavior at times like these.
I, for one, know my ex in-laws don't hate me, and my parents don't hate him, but if my ex in-laws did, I wouldn't really care. It's kind of hard to hate the wife when the husband cheated.
That being said, ME knowing what went on in our marriage is good enough for me. ME knowing that it bothers him tremendously how let down I felt by him, and how much I lost respect for him, is good enough for me. I will deal with his parents cordially when I am in town, with our son, and doing a manadatory "because you are his grandparents" visit. I don't talk to them in the mean time, I don't keep up a relationship, because I simply don't care, and I don't want to get embroiled in the crazy drama his family enjoys. Not knowing what I do on a day-to-day basis drives his Mom crazy more than being my besty and talking every day.
And, if they hate you based on her stories and not on what they have known for so long, then why would you want them in your life any way?