Most of the work you have to do is within-apologize to yourself for remaining
in toxic environment for this long,You need to self heal and self partner with
yourself.Only then will the ties chains be broken my dear.Gentle Hugs

Thank you. I definitely have tried breaking the ties however when we do connect I wish it was different between us. I fell as though I really need him in my life whe. I Know I don't. I very resourceful and get much attention but I yearn it from him.☹

I have stayed in toxic relationships because of emotional dependence; it's hard. If you really want to recover and be in the type of relationship you deserve, you MUST keep good boundaries with him and stick to them. There are going to be times when you are feeling weak and he will give you the attention you are craving, but, if you want to heal, you are going to have to tough it out and struggle with all those uncomfortable feelings that come up for you as you do. Often people who have been in toxic relationships have a lot of deeper issues; we are often abuse survivors with low self esteem... Consider seeing a therapist so that you have support through this time. Make connections here and else where and reach out to your friends, not only for support, but to spend quality time together. Getting out and developing social connections is very important. If you don't have a good network, create one. Join a yoga class, or get on meet-up and find a group of local hikers. Whatever you are interested in. Start doing it and find other people share your interests. It gets better with time, but you need to struggle and learn that you have the strength to stand on your own. Apply lots of self-love and self-care. And if you don't have self-love or know how to practice self-care; it's time to start developing it.

Hi Moji,
I’m in a similar situation. I’ve been in a toxic relationship for almost 12 years. I feel like I’m drowning and every time I come up for air he pushes me under again.

I’m having a rough day today, just really missing my mom who lives across the country. I’m hoping by Christmas my kids and I will be living there with her and my step-dad.

Leaving seems like the common sense, easy solution. It’s not. They bring us down and have us believing we can’t make it with out them. It’s so hard.

I hope you find some peace! If you ever want to talk to someone in a similar situation you can certainly message me!

@asilvercloud I go to counseling once a week concerts work to job go to the gym I stay very busy. It's just when Im Home alone at night or in the Morning right before work is when I struggle the most. I have lots of family and friends to talk to @emonemo yes we can chat and its important to have someone you can talk to that knows your struggles. So please message me.

@asilvercloud I go to counseling once a week concerts work to job go to the gym I stay very busy. It's just when Im Home alone at night or in the Morning right before work is when I struggle the most. I have lots of family and friends to talk to @emonemo yes we can chat and its important to have someone you can talk to that knows your struggles. So please message me. Today is my struggle

The first step is admitting you are in a toxic relationship. It can really help to have a support system who can speak truth into your life when he fills your head with lies that you cannot make it without him. One place that can really bee a helpful resource is your local domestic violence shelter. Usually they have support groups where you can share your story with others and hear their stories. They have trained advocates who can process your situation with you and examine the "payoffs" which keep you coming back. The advocate can help you also analyze the unhealthy dynamics, and walk you through resources available to you. You are not alone and there is help available. I am proud of you for seeing that this is not a healthy dynamic for you. There's a book I really recommend you get. It's available through Amazon.com called "How to Depolarize Your Jerk Magnet" by Christina Dalpiaz. You can get it from Amazon. Hope this helps!

go to a councilor, talk to someone that is close and end the relationship. Cut all ties from social media and contact.