marriage is full of negotiations. tell your marriage counselor that the two of you are not very good at negotiating so that both can win. the counselor can teach you how.

good luck.

You should each have some time to yourselves to do your own thing. If he gets angry about you doing something without him, that's his issue, not yours. Being married doesn't mean you have to spend every waking minute together. Do things for yourself and don't feel guity about it. See where that takes you, and then you'll have your answer.

Thank you faithful777 & cheryt, for your thoughts on this. I have written it down on paper for the marriage counselor. It seems she's trying to get us both to be in a better place w/each other....
I really do have to remember, what's his issue is his issue.....
and mine r mine.....
Again TY.

Oh gawd! You sound just like my ex wife. Thank god we are no longer together!

She is always nagging me and it gets so annoying sometime. I'd slap her but then she will claim spousal abuse. So, I just imagine myself slapping her.

Is he going to counseling with you?

Sounds like you may want more out of the relationship and sounds like hs is fine with what is going on and somehow continues to try to control what you do while he is doing what he wants to.

If he is going to counseling with you, I can only hope the counseling will clear some clouds for you.


best wishes and welcome to the group

Thank you for welcoming me, ChiTownBear,
Yes, he does go to marriage counseling with me. They won't allow just one person to go to that. I do want a person to holds up to their end of an agreement. When he's relaxing, fine. Just don't make (or try to) do the same if I need to do something else. That's when I want less in the relationship, less aggravation.

#4.... I'm anything but a nag. I've written on here, since it's supposed to be a supportive place. I agree with you, better to not be with someone you want to hit.

just do whatever you want. your husband will get used to it.

There's a great deal of compromise that has to go on in any relationship. However, if you are doing all the giving and not getting anything back, that's wrong. No problem with him relaxing, but why can't you do what you want while he's doing what he wants? Do you 2 do anything together, or is he unwilling to do anything you want to do? I have to say that was the beginning of the end of my marriage. STBX had a lot of things he liked to do, some of which I was invited to do with him, but when it was something I wanted to do, he'd tell me just go do it without him because he wouldn't enjoy it and would just be a drag to have with me. What is the point of being married to someone who doesn't want to do ANY of the things you want to do with you? What do you share if not your interests?