In my case timing was everything. If I hadn't been forced to move to England I would never have even met the SOB. But, if I hadn't, then I wouldn't have my two incredible children. And, if I hadn't met him, married him and divorced him then I wouldn't have met Kevin. So... who knows, right?

Birkenstockbabe - I definitely see your point and my take on that is that timing does not have an effect on inherent character traits (unless the narcissist realizes his/her pattern of behavior and is sincerely working toward changing it). In my case, my ex and I weren't yet at the point in our lives where we were emotionally ready to become involved. Had we waited 6 months it may have had a different outcome. On the other hand the timing may have been perfect because it was this person who helped me to realize some flaws of mine and I may have been the same person I was 6 months ago had we never met. Ok now I'm confused lol.


We've been in contact again recently by the way.

The thing is, timing in life cannot be controlled to the degree of a beat. We come upon and enter (or not enter) experiences for necessary reasons, be they to work through childhood issues, emotional issues, etc.

Sure, it is easy to look back and say, well, we shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, I shouldn't have taken that job, I missed that opportunity....

It is in the looking back that we should evaluate what we learned from the experience, which will then bring an understanding to why it happened, when, etc.

So yes, I think timing is key, but it is what we do with the end results of the "good, or bad" that is the real key to moving forward.

I don't know if timing is everything, but I do believe everything happens for a reason - we usually don't see the reason at the time, but there is one. RMAN, maybe that guy coming over to talk to you was so you didn't take the bullet., Good Daddy maybe that right person at the wrong time was so you could both see that there is hope out there in the world.
I question every day why my mother is still on this earth - I was convinced it was to annoy me, until our divorce went to trial and she had to get on the stand and pretty much sealed the case for me - against him.
So yes, everything has a reason. Everything.

It is not only timing, but how we react to that timing, our choice, good or bad we all make the choice for ourselves that make that moment in time affect the outcome of the future. Our Choice, the head shakes both ways.

You are right. The timing of many thinga in our life made it impossible to save the marriage.