Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

time frame for being "over" someone

orion777
orion777

I don't know about you, but it takes me much longer than I feel it should for me to get past a relationship.  It's been six months now for me and I feel like I'm over it just because I'm not feeling very emotional when I see his activity on a website we are on mutually.  Right after we broke up, the first couple of months, I was extremely emotional each time I saw that he was active and I was pretty obsessed with what he was doing and his social media.


I know a lot of this was complicated and aggravated by the fact that I had lost my job and was stuck inside with the pandemic and literally had nothing to do. But breakups have always affected me much more than the average person. For a short-term relationshp, it seems like it shouldn't have taken this long-more like six days or weeks.


Just curious as to what everyone else thinks? What are your time frames or do you feel there are any?  It may not help, maybe in the long run, to try to quantify things that really are not quantifiable. 

GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I don't believe there is any time frame.

What I do believe, is it depends what you do with that time.

Are you busy, active, working, school, volunteering, hobbies, going out with friends, or at least chatting with friends, church, working out, gardening or hiking - some kind of getting outside a lot... etc..... In other words, keeping your mind and body active and busy.

Those are the things that will help (somewhat) to get over a break up.

Are you looking to date now? Chatting with some new potential guys is another way to get your mind off the break up.

Be gentle and patient with yourself through this. But also.... get active and stay busy! Time to start living YOUR life now! :)
caligirl83
caligirl83
There is no “right” time for something like this. Although I think the longer the relationship the harder the detachment will be. How long were you dating ?
11Christmases
11Christmases
I think the timeframe depends on how emotionally invested you were in the person. Were they a rebound for you? Probably a shorter timeframe. Were they your first new relationship after being alone for a long time? Then it probably takes much longer to get over. I also find that around this time of year, late summer to early fall, I am feeling great and not even tempted to think of exes or past relationships. It's a busy time and I'm usually outside. And then the holiday season comes and it's a different story. So, I think it's a process with ups and downs.
Cabaret
Cabaret
It’s been a short while since I split up. One month and I find this difficult. We are still in contact which I don’t think is very helpful.
I don’t have a supportive family so I don’t know who to turn to, when I get lonely.
Cabaret
Cabaret
I think the advice of keeping busy and active is a good idea. Seeing people is a good idea. I have been isolating a little, because I don’t feel great.
CoderMom
CoderMom
It takes time... Been through that, but not the stalking part. Had one man I was talking to tell me things were fine, but when I didn't hear from him, I messaged a few times and even contacted his church to make sure he was okay only to find out that he had already packed up and moved and left no forwarding address. I was stunned, since he was the one who pointed me to the church I was going to. Had no idea what to think! Stopped trying to contact him entirely and felt completely abandoned / rejected. I had even given him over $1000.00 to help him with some bills. He said he would pay it back. That never happened.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • Vince3789

    Trying Not to Forget Who I Am

    Posted by: Vince3789
    Last Reply: GirlinCalif
    5
    Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
  • GreenEyes727

    Car Insurance Renewal

    Posted by: GreenEyes727
    Last Reply: GreenEyes727
    7
    I'm horrified!  I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000.  I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter.  I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change.  Now this!  I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000.  I guess I have to pay...