Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Thinking of my ex husband often

Raynor22
Raynor22

Hi Everyone


I was married for 29 years and been divorced for 10 years, which I'm the one who filed. I got tired of him making decisions for us or spending lots of money without even consulting with me.  He had done this for years and I never felt my thoughts were worthy.  I feel him being an only child has a lot to do with this.  My two grown daughters have a great relationship with him. However, they knew we fought over money but they don't know all the money issues he's had and I know they don't want to hear about it.  He has remarried and he lives a totally different life, meaning the money isn't there. I'd love to know if he's happy. There hasn't been a day gone by that I haven't thought of my ex in a good way.  I'd give anything if I could turn back the hands of time and do things differently to try to reconcile.  I think of him often and would love to see him. Is there anyone out there that has a similiar situation?   


GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
That sounds normal. I think of ex boyfriends from long ago, also (I wasn't married to them, but were in long relationships). I even sometimes think about contacting them.... but... memories are always happier than the reality. You divorced him for a reason. And he is your ex for a reason.

I find that for myself, when I am thinking of the past, it means something in my current life is not fulfilling. Have you dated much, have a boyfriend now that you are happy with? Maybe that would be a better way to start getting out of the reminiscing about memories about the past. Time to look forward!

Your ex was a different person then, you were a different person then... life changes. Look at your life now, and see what things you can do to be happier and more fulfilled, and what great and exciting things do you have planned for YOUR future?

You probably don't really want him back.... be honest, lol... you just wish he was the guy you wanted him to be. Which he never will be.
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
Hugs my friend, GirlinCalif said it so well. I think of my ex too. One thing I have learned what they show to the public could be totally different to what they really are. I know for a fact that my ex is a miserable old goat. (sorry goats, that is an insult_hehe), He calls the kids to complain all the time. My daughter put a stop to that so fast that he head spun like a top. They do not have a good relationship with him, in fact they do not even have one. No matter how hard I tried, he managed to screw it up Wishful thinking and reality are two different things. I, too wish I handled things differently. But were we given the chance, were we given the help we needed. Answer those questions. Happiness comes from within.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • Vince3789

    Trying Not to Forget Who I Am

    Posted by: Vince3789
    Last Reply: GreenEyes727
    6
    Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
  • GreenEyes727

    Car Insurance Renewal

    Posted by: GreenEyes727
    Last Reply: GreenEyes727
    7
    I'm horrified!  I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000.  I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter.  I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change.  Now this!  I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000.  I guess I have to pay...