I was going to initially stay away from this thread because of the definition of stigmata since it stems from the relgious nature:

Stigmata are the wounds of Christ as reproduced in a human body. Visible stigmata are frequently located in both hands and both feet, and on the right side of the chest, replicating the sites of Christ's wounds, which he showed to the disciples in his post-resurrection appearances (Luke 24: 36-40 and John 20: 19-29).

NOW that I realize is not about that but the stigma (scarlett letter) of the symbolic wounds of a divorce, I must say that I feel awkward around people who knew that I was married...especially my family's older generational friends....yikes...I've been divorced since MARCH and I still don't have the guts to be amongst them. I don't know why....feeling your axiety and didn't mean to be long winded...I'm just fiesty this week.

what a powerful question! I was not prepared for the horrible things that my so called friends said to me during and after my divorce. Things like how could you do this to your children, you'll never find a better man then your X, i was accused of abandoning the family, not a good christain. it was the pits!

NOw that my divorce is over, i feel great, not only did i get rid of a negative husband but i didn't realize i had such negative friends.

I beleive it gets worst before it gets better, living through the experience of a divorce makes you a stronger and powerful women. or man

I'm hiring a high school kid and buying a bell. The kid will run ahead of me everywhere I go to warn people of incoming pariah, namely me :(

Noor you're such a cutie pie!

yes. people do not want you around their husbands. yeah, that'd be a great idea, to hook up with your husband! BRILLIANT!

or, maybe it's not that. maybe they think it's contagious.

move on though, there are plenty of kinds of people. some think that way, but plenty don't.

I am a pariah in every sense. pariah trailblazer threadkiller. I'm turning off the computer and going to bed early, before I get any more pariahish...

Trail...you are NO THREAD KILLER...You can't wear that awful rep!

thanks baby,

mmm... sometimes I am, but mainly I just like the sound of it:

trailblazer threadkiller. '

right now I'm just Queen Itchy Bitchy. blessings on you all ~~~

I worried about that too for awhile.

You know, us guilt-ridden Catholics. But than I thought to myself - I've NEVER looked down at anyone who was divorced. My best friend went thru one, and I told her time and time again - who cares? This is the best for YOU.

She tossed that right back at me in the beginning, very neatly, I might add.

So, except for a brief moment of lunacy when I thought my plane was crashing two weeks ago and the thought "Oh my GOD, I am going to hell as a divorced Catholic - should have gotten that annulment!" popped in my head, I haven't considered in a stigmata. And I don't feel that I have to justify to everyone I meet my reasons for divorce.

They were the right ones. That's all that matters in my heart and head.

Divorce these days are said like Marriage. Just tell people you had to have a trial run before the real game.... Practice makes perfect!

Yes people are going to think differently of you for being divorced. Just as they will think differently of you if you were gay, single, adopt, whatever goes against the social standard of "norm". Is it always right? Of course not. Does it really matter? No. Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are. But remember, not everyone is going to like your or like parts of you and thats ok...they don't have to.

Did you mean "stigma"? My father called in sick once with stigmata, but that's a totally different issue.

Some people do view me differently b/c of my divorce. Some of my closest friends and family won't even speak to me, b/c they think I am in a different category as they are. I am a failure, they are a success, is what I am told. As far as the negative or positve people, I don't control their views, or opinions,nor do I give them any value. I understand what I did to contribute to the demise of my marriage. Thank God. I would be dead if I did not get it. I understand what he did as well. he does not. Not my job to clean up his shit for one more day. I can forgive in time but will not forget, b/c I learned alot, and still am. I already know that I am 38, with 2 deceased kids and a crashed out marriage, no job, no $, no home, not predicted that I will live to see 40, and a past life that is just that. If people want to judge me and attach any labels to me that is their deal. All I have is me right now.

If people think diffently because I am going to be divorced, then they can pucker the fuck up, and kiss my ass.

And everyone said, Amen.
Lol