As you wrote to another poster this morning, some of us need a break. We are tired and defeated. We can no longer deny out hurt, and are being consumed by it. That's why were here.

right

different people
different stages

you sound like you know exactly what point you're at and what you want right now

trust yourself

Couldn't agree with you more namaste. I think most problems are only problems for as long as we allow them to be problems. Not that I think the solutions are easy. Sometimes they're incredibly difficult and painful, but they can lead us to a much better place.

I'm finding it amazing that we all seem soo in tune with a better way of being at the moment maybe the universe is sending us all some much needed revelations thats allowing us to be honest with ourselves with whats really important in life.

Its such a good liberating feeling.

The initial remark of living the solution was one of the counselors favorite sayings at the rehab my STBX wife attended, but what really stuck with me from that experience was the serenity prayer that the AA meetings start out with, you may have all heard it before,

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That prayer made me think about a lot of things, but most of all acceptance, no need crying over spilt milk, can't unspill it. But I can change me now, by my actions, my decisions, change my life now, not dwell on one that is past and wonder if this or that, accept it, it is what it is.

good one

things I cannot change = the past, someone else

things I can change = today, myself

knowing the difference = the willingness to be aware

If those who are doing better move on and away from this board......then who will be here to lift the face of the new ones coming here? Someone here reached out to me when I came along. Because others who came before me posted updates on how they were getting on, it gave me hope.

Here's another way to think about this:

The Past is History

The Future is Mystery

The Present is a Gift

Accept the gift of the present. Live in the moment. That's where solutions are found, not dwelling on a past we cannot change or worrying about a future we cannot know.

MisRed,
and now you're one of the uplifting voices

I love that quote......I have to say though - that unless we're "ready" that I can see how the words can be just words. One of my favourite sayings -"you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make it think"

For me - one of the most difficult parts of letting go is giving up the hope for what could have been. I see the best in people - and situations - and it really does shoot me in the arse more often than not. That giving up the hope, and letting it go - that's a hard one. But when I do, as I did yesterday - what a fresh breeze flows through life....it's a great place to get to - when and if you can.

Nothing I thought about before. Thank you

Great quote, thanks for sharing :)

What an inspiring (and interesting) thread. :)

thanks, will have to remember this one.

Actually, come to think of it...it is a little how I live my life. When I think back to my ex and I you could say that he did live in the problem and I always tried to live in the solution....

Weird analogy, but things just made a little more sense to me...