Hi Jim, my marriage ended very suddenly the day before Easter of this year. My ex wife said some really cruel words and ended it right then. I was devastated and feel pretty much the same now. She wanted a divorce and it was final a month ago. I know the hurt, I know how it feels to be overwhelmed with pain that you feel you cannot tolerate any more of. My mind is beginning to see a different future than the one I had planned on having with my wife. or, ex wife. It's hard because it's all in the planning stages and will take time to really get going enough to see that the future really is going to be good, different from what I thought, but possibly better than it would have been had I stayed married. I see myself with someone who is more like me--loving and caring and not like my exwife who could be so cruel and uncaring. I will attract the right one when I'm ready to, and that's part of the future I look forward to happening. It took a while to get to this point where I could really try to plan a new future and start to believe in it, but I'm getting there. That's what I would suggest for you to try, it may take some time though before you are able to do that. But it really is a good way to help you push forward in a way that helps you to feel that you still will have a good life/future. It's just going to be different from what you planned for so long. It's hard to let go of what you planned on, but you can do it. It will mean thinking about what you want that you didn't have. If you want to find someone else, eventually, like I do, then I have found it is easiest to think about what is happening right now as you reach out to people here and how you feel toward them. You feel close to them/us, don't you? There's a connection, a strong connection based on true understanding. So, you can feel something powerful for someone else, not me in particular or anyone in particular, but the general idea is clear I hope! And consider how many people you feel a connection to on here, lots. It's hard for me to even consider ever being interested in someone else right now, but then I remember that I do feel connections with the people here on DS. I use that to help me feel that I will have a future that includes someone I really feel happy and comfortable with at some point, when I'm ready.
Also, I don't know if confronting your (ex) friend will really give you closure. What can he tell you that will make you feel that way? Will you get closure from him or your wife? I found that I couldn't. She fought me every step of the way on anything I tried to talk about with her. I told her I wanted to understand so that I could also move on, like she was doing, but she just kept up with denying everything and blaming me. I got nowhere but more frustrated. She wasn't going to help me move on or give me any kind of closure. I am making that happen by choosing to move on and believe in a good future for myself.
I hope you find some peace tonight.

I am sorry too...it does take time and you may have good days and then bad days ...You have to get the pain out and talking about it might be the only way...you really just need someone to listen to you NO judgement calls. Just letting yourself vent.
When you've talked about your pain and you've let it out ...You will notice that you don't want to talk about it anymore...which mean your ready to move on...give it a try.