That's good info DMM. Thank you

I feel your pain, I dread getting out of bed in the morning because he hurt me so bad. It's okay to cry and feel this way, otherwise we would never heal. I'm going through the same thing. I cry all the time, and i lock myself in the bathroom when i feel tears forming. Focus on your kids, work, get some new hobbies. They might help take your mind off of things, even if it is for a little while.

In this... the toughest time of my life so far, I have met some of the greatest prople to date. For each of you to take time out of your busy days to help me means so much. I have never been so empty but when I come here... I feel like someone really cares and wants to help. It is not the same talking to someone who has never been through this. It is horrible for sure!

I welcome any comments as it helps me more than words can say!
Jim

I'm sorry for your pain, I know it all to well.

There is nothing anyone can say that can make you feel better. I can say that all of us here have been through it and hurt also. You have to manage the pain somehow. People have different ways. I turned it over to God. You may find that you want to turn it over to a hobbie or lean on an old friend. I really didnt have hobbies or any friends. Everyone hated my X so i lost lots of friends over the years. But I fought back...God shut a door on me and I felt like I was dieing. I didnt know how to go on. I was driving my daughter nuts. She told me to shake it off and get a life. So I tried, and everyday I still try and it is a constant battle to over come it. We are survivors and we are the strongest people on this planet. We have felt pain so deep that some people cant imagine. There are also lots of books about letting go and divorce. Go to the libary or bookstore. Just hang in there and if you ever need to talk im here. Your kids need you and you know what? you need you too! (((((((hugs)))))))

I agree that mornings are the hardest. You will get through this.It is devastating to feel like you have to start over and really don't know where to begin. Hopefully the future holds a happy full life for you. I wish you all the best.My husband totally turned on me after going on Zoloft. Filed for divorce and handed me the papers. I sit here and wonder if the dumper feels the hurt and loss as much as the person getting dumped? There's no pain like the pain of being rejected.I am so sorry for your pain.

Thank you to everyone for the support. It means alot to me. I do not think the dumper every feels the pain that the person getting dumped feels. I think they simply move on in their own little world. I often wish I could quantify the pain to someone who isn't going through it so that they wouldn't say things like "suck it up", "forget her" "there are millions out there"... They are often well intentioned but it hurts to hear that sometimes. They are right in their comments... but they hurt at the same time.

Everyone here on this site is so kind and its the only thing that has given me hope that I will be ok. Its going to take time... But I will make it. I just wish I could let go of my love for her... I want to turn it "off" like a faucet :)

Jim

Hugs!!!

Be gentle with yourself, it's a process. It does get better, trust me. While i hate how cliche that sounds, it really is true.

Let your emotions out, feel your feelings,and lean on all of us here.

Wishing you the best on your journey. Its a tough one....just keep the faith.

I know exactly what you are going through. It just sucks the life out of you for a while. The pain is undescribable. The only thing that keeps me going is that when the pain is absolutely unbearable I try to realize that this moment will pass and I will be a little stronger for having gone through just this horrible moment. I will sit at my desk and cry while I am working, but it will pass in a few minutes and I will keep on working. I do what I have to do every day to the best of my ability, and have come to the realization that my pain is part of healing. Pain proves I am human, as are you, and through that pain I have reached out to other people who are suffering, which helps get me through the day. You are not alone on this journey. Many others are suffering right along with you. Thank you for helping me as well just by your post here.

Tonight I find myself once again wondering if the pain will let up even for a minute....

My mother stops by (I am 44 for gods sake) and trys to comfort me and i hate when she leaves. These are not normal feelings for a man. I think I just simply don;t like being alone right now...

When will I "Start" to heal. I wish i had no contact with my ex but seeing her at work is brutal. I also have incredible anger towards my ex friend. I want to confront him but he avoids me... I need closure with both of them in order to start healing i think...

Jim

Jim,
Read my discussion board post from last week. I was in that dark place that landed me in the hospital. I know your pain cause I still feel it everyday, every second. Its like your mind wont stop no matter what you try. I get anxiety over stupid shit (thinking of her shoes) and I don't quite understand it. There are wonderful people on here that offers great support. I still don't know how I make it through my days. But at least I no longer want to take my life. You just have to keep fighting the thoughts and move on...

For starters you should consider seeking professional help (counseling) and possibly bring your children to family therapy sessions in order for your children to integrate and process the experience. As far as ways to deal with the pain, it is a process. Sometimes it gets worst before it gets better.

You were deceived by the people whom you trusted and that is diffcult to integrate and process not to mention the series of emotions induced by the deception.

It is difficult to be a parent when you are feeling such intense emotional pain. I've been there. The only thing you can do for now is be with the pain in order to go on to the healing phase.

Be kind to yourself and find ways to nurture yourself such as going to an all day spa.

On a different note, your friend and your wife deserve each other. They are from the same moral fabric.

Sorry Jim for your pain I was where you at 3yrs. ago, so I started counseling and praying. I know it feel's like it will never start, you have to go through the pain process before the healing process. Not trying to scare you but i still feel the pain today from when she left me, but now I'm able to function daily like a normal person without so much pain. Remember pray and we are all here for you.

God Bless You

I am so so sorry for your pain, I feel for you but it really wont be forever your life will turnaround we are all here for you , I hpe tonight is a better night and tomorrow a brighter morning for you, I am always here to chat to

We have or are going through the pain. Time eases the pain that we have to go through to heal.DS is a great support group to talk about how you feel and vent. Remember focus on you and stay busy. Talking about it helped me work through it. I still have bad days but I know I am stronger and wiser now. HUGS